What Needs to Stop?

Deanna Bartalini suggests before adding or changing something in your routine, first take a prayerful look at what needs to stop.  

What Needs to Stop?

This is not a question for Lent, exactly, but it could be if you think your Lenten practices need a boost. I think the question I will pose is a good one to ask often, in many areas of your life. Oh, the question: The question to consider is this, “What do I need to stop so I can start?” And, in full disclosure, this comes from a person who comes to me for spiritual direction.

It was first asked in relation to spiritual life, but I can see it being used as a litmus test for all facets of your life.

Let’s Consider This

First, a short story about meatloaf. Mom shapes the meatloaf and then cuts both ends off before putting it into the pan. Her child asks why she does this and is told, "Because my mother did it." Said child asks Grandma why she cut the ends off the meatloaf and finds out it was because the pan was too small. Goes back, tells her mom, and Mom stops cutting the ends off — because her pan is not too small!

What needs to stop? Cutting off the ends of meatloaf for no reason.

We often spend time doing things without really thinking about why we are doing them or whether what we are doing makes sense and helps us in our life. It is not that our habit is bad, but it is not helping us anymore.

There are many different seasons in life, and just like you do not need long underwear in the summer, you do not need to keep every habit or custom if it no longer makes sense.

We can often tell when our life is not fitting well anymore. Maybe there is no flow, things that were once effortless seem like drudgery, and there are obstacles popping up in ways that did not before. Those are signs that something needs to change.

But we cannot change without first asking God.

How to Approach Change

It can be as simple as making a few lists. One for what is working, another for what is not, and then maybe a list of things that you would like to add to your life.

Then take the lists to prayer. Ask God, “What do I need to stop doing?" It is not a good idea to add without first taking away. If we continue to add without any thought of what needs to stop, we will wind up being overcommitted. And I do not mean overcommitted to external projects or work or other people. (That’s a different issue.) I mean overcommitted to yourself, be it spiritual, physical or mental. You know, that long internal to do list you carry in your head.

When your prayer life seems stuck, adding more devotionals or reflections is not the answer. Changing one devotional for another could work, but rarely is adding more the answer. Maybe you are feeling a lack of creativity or meaningful recreation. It could be time to stop scrolling or watching television and play a game or work on a puzzle or pick up a low-investment hobby. 

For example, one of my favorite low-cost hobbies is watercolor painting. I started it after playing around with my grandchildren. I use these watercolors and either plain copy paper or these cards. You can find how-to videos on YouTube. 

In high school I watched the movie Brother Sun, Sister Moon. There is a song I still remember; honestly, I remember most of them. "If You Want Your Dream to Be" says this: “If you want to live life free, take your time go slowly. Do few things but do them well, simple joys are holy.”

A few weeks ago, I wrote this in my weekly newsletter, “Taking on more will not make you holier; it will make you busier.” You do not need to be busier. Consider, before you take on more, asking God what needs to stop.

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Copyright 2026 Deanna Bartalini
Images: Canva

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