What Surrender Looks Like in Real Life

Surrender isn’t control or worry; it’s trusting God fully. Denise Jelinek explores this and offers real life examples of what we can learn from the Surrender Novena. 

As Catholic women, we often hear the word surrender in our faith, especially during seasons of difficulty. But what does surrender truly mean, and how do we live it out as moms — whether we’re caring for little ones, managing a busy household, or praying for our adult children?   

Let’s explore what the Surrender Novena teaches us about what surrender looks like and find practical examples for our daily lives.  

What surrender is not  

Surrender is not worrying, obsessing, or trying to control every detail. On Day 2 of the Surrender Novena, Jesus gently reminds us:   

“Surrender does not mean to fret, to be upset, or to lose hope, nor does it mean offering to me a worried prayer asking me to follow you and change your worry into prayer. It is against this surrender… to worry, to be nervous, and to desire to think about the consequences of anything.”  

Picture a mom who is deeply concerned about her teenage son struggling in school. Every day, she prays, “Lord, help him succeed,” but she spends her time researching every tutoring program, micromanaging his schedule, and fretting over every test result. This is not surrender. It’s fear wrapped in an illusion of control.   

Surrender also isn’t about asking God to act our way. On Day 3 of the novena, Jesus says:   

“In pain, you pray for me to act, but that I act in the way you want ... You are not sick people who ask the doctor to cure you, but rather sick people who tell the doctor how to.”   

Imagine this same mom praying, “Lord, help my son get all As this semester,” and then feeling frustrated and discouraged when things don’t improve. That’s not surrender. It’s dictating to God how to fix the situation instead of trusting in His plan.  

What surrender is  

True surrender is trusting God completely, even when things seem to get worse. On Day 4, Jesus asks:   

“Do you see that the sick person is getting worse? Do not be upset, but close your eyes and say, ‘You take care of it.’”   

Now imagine a mom whose adult daughter has drifted away from the faith. Instead of trying to argue her daughter back to church or feeling defeated by each new rejection, she prays, “Jesus, I surrender my daughter to You. Help me to trust in Your timing.” Then she continues to love her daughter, knowing that God is at work even when she cannot see it.   

Surrender is also about letting go of worries about the future. On Day 8, Jesus reminds us:   

“Close your eyes and let yourself be carried away on the flowing current of my grace; close your eyes and do not think of the present, turning your thoughts away from the future just as you would from temptation.”   

For a mom struggling with financial stress, this might mean focusing on managing today’s resources wisely without spiraling into anxiety about future bills or unforeseen expenses. She prays, “Jesus, I trust You to provide for us,” and then takes the next right step, knowing He will guide her.  

Why surrender matters  

On Day 9, the novena reminds us of the transformative power of surrender:   

“A thousand prayers cannot equal one single act of surrender.”   

Why is surrender so powerful? Because it’s an act of faith — a declaration that we trust God more than ourselves. When we surrender, we create space for His grace to work in our lives in ways we couldn’t imagine.   

This doesn’t mean we stop trying or sit idly by. Surrender is active. It’s about showing up, doing what we can, and trusting God with the rest. A mom might pray for her son’s success but recognize that she can’t control every outcome. Instead, she trusts God to lead and guide him in ways she never could.  

The joy of surrender  

True surrender brings peace and joy, even in the midst of challenges. On Day 7, Jesus promises us:   

“I perform miracles in proportion to your full surrender to me.”   

For Catholic moms of all ages, this is our great hope. Whether you’re a young mom praying for patience in the chaos of daily life, a mother of teens navigating uncharted territory, or an empty nester learning to let go, surrender allows you to release the burdens you were never meant to carry.  

So today, take a deep breath and pray:  

O Jesus, I surrender myself to You. Take care of everything.   

And trust that He will. 

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Copyright 2024 Denise Jelinek
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