--- title: When Kids Test the Limits of Parenting description: Sheri Wohlfert takes an honest look at the reality of kids testing their parents, offering five tips to help moms and dads stay strong. image: https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/20260218%20SWohlfert%201.png --- [![catholic-mom-logo-v2](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/images/catholic-mom-logo-v2.svg "catholic-mom-logo-v2")](https://www.catholicmom.com/) [![facebook](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-facebook.svg)](http://www.facebook.com/CatholicMomCommunity) [![twitter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-twitter.svg)](http://twitter.com/CatholicMomCom) [![instagram](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-instagram.svg)](http://instagram.com/catholicmomcommunity) [![youtube](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-youtube.svg)](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuUqHCVPDzyMgSMaMZxxug?view_as=subscriber) [![search-icon](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/search-icon.svg)](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/when-kids-test-the-limits-of-parenting#) [PARENTING](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/tag/parenting) # When Kids Test the Limits of Parenting Feb 18, 2026 11:30:00 AM  |  by [Sheri Wohlfert](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/sheri-wohlfert) ![featured image](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/20260218%20SWohlfert%201.png) *Sheri Wohlfert takes an honest look at the reality of kids testing their parents, offering five tips to help moms and dads stay strong.* --- There are dozens of reasons parenting is the greatest gig on earth, but there are also days it can seem like the toughest job on the planet! The common denominator to our tough days is often authority. The parents’ job is to establish and uphold it, and the child’s role is to question and test it. More often than we’d like, the line between negotiation and manipulation can get a little fuzzy. Here are some truths and tips for successfully managing conflict without emotional blackmail, whining, complaining, or habitual arguing.   ![null](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/20260218%20SWohlfert%202.png?width=1080&height=1350&name=20260218%20SWohlfert%202.png)   ## Two Truths About Disciplining Our Kids Truth #1: It’s natural for kids to throw temper tantrums, lie, have emotional outbursts, and argue to get what they want. They will try anything to get a reaction that leads to an outcome in their favor. Your response to this truth can change everything! Truth #2: The demands of life often leave parents tired, stressed and frustrated. We can’t allow ourselves to “be tapped out” and give in to our kids’ manipulative behavior, so we need to plan our response when the storm is calm instead of trying to paddle when the storms are raging. ![](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/undefined-Feb-12-2026-08-16-34-9081-PM.png?width=1&height=1&name=undefined-Feb-12-2026-08-16-34-9081-PM.png) ## Five Tips for Parents Working on Calm Discipline It takes two to tango and you control the music. As humans, we need to learn to make our needs known. We have to be able to negotiate, compromise, and problem-solve, and we begin learning how to do these important things as kids. Parents are the first teachers of these lessons.   ### *Yes, it’s exhausting * Kids will push hard, and you are what they push against. Consistency, love, and persistent expectations of acceptable behavior are the greatest ways to show our love for our kids.   ### *Know your triggers and don’t take the bait * Kids figure out our weaknesses and they play on them. They can play the sad, unfair, “you don’t love me or my friends” card at just the right moment to break you down. Knowing ahead of time how you’ll maneuver in these moments will allow you to follow through in a way that helps your child learn and keeps you calm.   ![null](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/20260218%20SWohlfert%204.png?width=1080&height=1350&name=20260218%20SWohlfert%204.png)   ### *It’s not about you * If your kids lie or talk disrespectfully, it is more about them testing boundaries and getting what they want. It really isn’t personal, so remember: You are the rock their waves of emotion crash against, and you need to remain strong and focused. Our kids can’t be the source of our affirmations and friendship; we need to seek those things from other adults.   ### *Think long haul, not short-term * Fussing over candy, screen time, toys, attention, cars, and curfews are all part of normal and healthy growth and development. We want our kids to grow up to be confident problem-solvers capable of compromise and negotiation, and we also want them to have a voice. We can’t throw up our hands and wish they’d just stop testing us. Instead, prayerfully approach each of those situations and know they are part of raising great saints.   ### *Focus on holy, healthy, and safe * As you prayerfully prepare your response plan, remember that our goal as Catholic parents is to make sure our kids are holy, healthy, and safe. Let these three things form your responses to conflict. They allow us to respond with phrases such as, “I want you to be healthy, so you won’t be eating a Twinkie for breakfast,” or “I do love you, and going to place X just isn’t safe,” or “God chose to make me your parent, so I need to do what’s best for you and let every other parent make the decision for their own kids.” A quick shout-out to the Holy Spirit for words and the Blessed Mother for intercession at the moment of conflict is always a powerful first step.   ![null](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/20260218%20SWohlfert%203.png?width=1080&height=1350&name=20260218%20SWohlfert%203.png)   Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles. --- Copyright 2026 Sheri Wohlfert Images: Canva ### Share this article [![Share on Facebook](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/facebook-24x24.png)](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fwhen-kids-test-the-limits-of-parenting%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dfacebook) [![Share on Twitter](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/twitter-24x24.png)](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?original_referer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fwhen-kids-test-the-limits-of-parenting%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fwhen-kids-test-the-limits-of-parenting%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&source=tweetbutton&text=When%20Kids%20Test%20the%20Limits%20of%20Parenting) [![Share on Email](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/email-24x24.png)](mailto:?subject=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fwhen-kids-test-the-limits-of-parenting%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail%20&body=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fwhen-kids-test-the-limits-of-parenting%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail) ** #### About the Author ![Sheri Wohlfert](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/Contriubutors/SHERI%20WOHLFERT.jpeg) ### [Sheri Wohlfert](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/sheri-wohlfert) Sheri is a Catholic wife, mom, speaker and teacher. She uses her great sense of humor and her deep faith to help others discover the joy of being a child of God. Her roots are in Kansas but her home is in Michigan. The mission of her ministry is to encourage others to look at the simple ways we can all find God doing amazing things smack dab in the middle of the laundry, ball games, farm chores and the hundred other things we manage to cram into a day. Sheri also writes at [JoyfulWords.org](http://www.joyfulwords.org). ## Related Blog Articles [ St. Rita and the Relief Pitcher Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2015/03/06/st-rita-and-the-relief-pitcher) [ They Taught Me Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2014/09/19/they-taught-me) [ A Story to Tell Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2014/10/31/a-story-to-tell) ## Comments ## Donate now [![Support Catholic Mom](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/275132/10016573-1c5c-4aa5-baba-c2ac91fe7545.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/275132/10016573-1c5c-4aa5-baba-c2ac91fe7545) [![CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c (002)](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c%20(002).png?width=1806&height=731&name=CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c%20(002).png "CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c (002)")](https://www.catholicmom.com/) ##### Subscribe to Catholic Momcast on iTunes or Spotify [![itunes-logo-black](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/logos/itunes-logo-black.svg)](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/catholic-momcast/id1362352357)[![spotify-logo-black](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/logos/spotify-logo-black.svg)](https://open.spotify.com/show/15CoipHL7z61IDcYErV0b8?si=hqaQJSxDQgq7S1hxCwsoxQ) ##### CatholicMom on Social Networks [![facebook](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-facebook.svg)](http://www.facebook.com/CatholicMomCommunity) [![twitter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-twitter.svg)](http://twitter.com/CatholicMomCom) [![instagram](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-instagram.svg)](http://instagram.com/catholicmomcommunity) [![youtube](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-youtube.svg)](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuUqHCVPDzyMgSMaMZxxug?view_as=subscriber) ##### About Catholic Mom [Who We Are](https://www.catholicmom.com/about-us) [Contact Us](https://www.catholicmom.com/contact) [Support CatholicMom.com](https://www.catholicmom.com/support-us)   ##### Associated Links [Holy Cross Family Ministries](https://www.hcfm.org/) [Family Rosary](https://www.familyrosary.org/) [Family Theater Productions](https://www.familytheater.org/) [Congregation of the Holy Cross](https://www.holycrossusa.org/) [Father Patrick Peyton, C.S.C.](https://www.fatherpeyton.org/) [The Peyton Institute for Domestic Church Life](https://www.peytonfamilyinstitute.org/) ### **Stay connected!** Don’t miss a thing! 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