When Our Prayer Routines Need to Change

Lorraine Hess discusses the ways her prayer life has changed in various stages of parenting. Are you looking for a new prayer routine?

When my children were little, I would drive them to school and pass my church, where dozens of cars were parked for daily Mass. Part of me was jealous that people had time for weekday Masses. My children’s school was 30 minutes from home, which is an hour round trip, twice a day. At that time, morning Mass was not an option. Sure, there were midday Masses elsewhere in my archdiocese, but they were across town. I could not justify more time in the car when there was work to be done, errands to be run, and dinner to be cooked.

My kids went to Catholic school, so I would occasionally attend their school Masses, but I still longed for the day when I would have the freedom to attend peaceful Masses during the week. On the flip side, because my children went to school so far from home, I had a solid thirty minutes on the drive home to pray the Rosary, and that was a regular part of my day.  

When I had little ones at home, I didn’t even consider joining a prayer group. Any time away from the kids was luxury time to go to the grocery, squeeze in a dentist appointment, do the laundry, or exercise. (What a party animal!) 

Grown Kids; New Freedom  

Fast forward to the time when all my kids were driving, and suddenly my world was opened to the joy of daily Mass and prayer groups. I was blessed with great prayer sisters, but less time in carpool resulted in my slacking off from praying the Rosary, and I felt guilty about that.  

With everyone in school and slowly leaving for college, I settled into a nice routine at home in a special prayer space in my house. It was my little sanctuary. My husband worked downtown, and I worked from home, so I had so much silence! As my kids were getting older, I recognized a need to shift what kind of prayer worked for me and I believed this flexibility meant God had higher expectations of me, and I was very disciplined. 

I have been a Eucharistic adorer since my youngest went to school full time (another shift in routine), but I was worried about the weekly commitment (remember my partying at the dentist, the gym and the grocery?) so my friend, who also had four children, agreed to share the hour with me. We alternated Thursdays, and it gave us breathing room to swap without the stress of finding replacements. Five years into our shared Adoration time, I moved ten miles away, joined another parish, and decided to increase my Adoration commitment to weekly. Another change in my prayer routine. 

During the COVID lockdown, my husband worked from home, and my youngest was home from school. My prayer time was rocked. All the silence I had become accustomed to disappeared. My routine was shaken, so I was forced into a new prayer groove. No prayer group; no daily Mass. Praying felt like yelling into the wind. If I wanted silence, I had to take a walk, but it was on those walks that I connected with God through nature, something I could not achieve in my little prayer corner at home. Praying with Airpods, I found prayer apps I never knew existed. 

Whatever phase of life you are in, your prayer is good. God loves that you pray, however you pray, whenever you pray. There will be times that are so obnoxiously chaotic, a simple, “Jesus, I trust in You” is all you can spit out that day. One slow deliberate “Our Father” while washing your hands can re-center our thoughts on our Creator. It’s good, even when we feel like it is not good enough. 

With every phase of my life, my prayer routine has changed. Sometimes, by choice; sometimes by necessity. I suppose as my parents age, things will change again. 

Do Your Prayer Routines Help Your Relationship with God? 

I am not suggesting we use our busy lives as an excuse to slack in prayer. I am proposing that we occasionally assess whether our prayer routines are working as our life situations change, and it is OK if new prayer routines take the place of old. No guilt! The goal of prayer is relationship with God. Do our prayer routines feed that relationship? If not, it’s time for something different. 

We can never devote enough time to God, but if keep our eyes, ears, and hearts open, we will hopefully sense the promptings of the Holy Spirit when our relationship with God needs nurturing in new ways. It might require us to give up something we love (like our prayer group), add something new, like the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Life changes, but the God who was, who is, and who will always be is listening — no matter how we pray.  

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2025 Lorraine Hess
Images: Canva