When You Feel Like You're Failing at Motherhood (You're Not) 

When tired mom Laura Vazquez Santos felt like she was failing, she turned to God — and discovered that His grace meets us right in the mess. 

Last week, I yelled at my kids. Again. I felt ashamed, like I had failed some invisible test of “good Catholic mom.” In fact, I feel this way often as a working mom, constantly pulled in different directions and worried that I’m not giving it my all, at work or at home.   

Later that night, after the kids were in bed and the house was finally quiet, I sat with the Lord and cried. “Why do I keep messing this up? Why don’t I have enough patience?” I asked. I didn’t get a booming answer from heaven, but I sensed a gentle whisper in my heart: “You’re not failing. You’re human. You have crosses you are bearing, and you’re exhausted, but I’m right here with you. You are not alone.” 

God Isn't Looking for Perfection 

I scrolled Instagram that night and saw polished homes, smiling kids, moms in matching outfits holding lattes and Bibles. I sighed and thought, “What an impossible standard to fulfill.” But the truth is, God isn’t comparing me to anyone else. He isn’t looking for perfection. He’s looking for faithfulness and love.   

Motherhood is not a performance; it’s a vocation. And vocations are lived one small “yes” at a time.   

Some days our yes looks like family prayer time and homemade meals. Other days it’s McDonald’s drive-thru and a desperate “Jesus, I trust in You.” Both days can be holy. We, as humans in our finite state are the ones that create impossible standards to uphold, the ones that add the “shoulds” and “should haves” and “not enough” labels to our vocabulary constantly.    

Saint Paul reminds us that God’s power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). That includes the weak moments we’d rather forget: the lost tempers, the fast-food dinners, the prayers whispered through tears.  

God isn’t surprised by our humanity. He enters it.   

Even in Your Weakest Moments, Grace Is Quietly at Work  

I’m learning that grace doesn’t just show up when we get it right. It’s poured out even more abundantly when we fall and get back up again, when we surrender to him and like an innocent child we simply trust in our Father’s divine mercy and guidance.   

If you’ve ever looked at yourself and thought “I’m not enough,” let me remind you of something: You are. Not because you’ve figured it all out, but because God chose you for this.   

He didn’t choose a Pinterest-perfect version of you to become your child’s parent. He chose the real you. The tired, messy, stretched-thin you. And He’s walking with you every step of the way.   

So, here’s your permission to let go of the pressure. Stop measuring your worth by productivity or how well-behaved your kids are at Mass. Start seeing your motherhood the way God sees it — as sacred, beautiful, and deeply important. So important in fact that He created and chose you for your child and your child for you ... and God doesn’t make mistakes.   

To the mom who feels like she’s failing: You’re not.  

You are loved. You are chosen. You are enough.   

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2025 Laura Vazquez Santos
Images: Canva