When You Hit Bottom, It's a Good Thing

Helen Syski discovers there’s treasure at the end of your parenting rope. 

I knew I was lecturing. Worse, I was yelling.   

Rushed, unrealistic schedules, overbearing workloads, lack of sleep, and lack of family time had led to disobedience, bickering, and nothing accomplished at the end of the day. Knowing we needed to reset, but with no time to prepare, I finally just called a family meeting. Cold turkey.   

You know, so we could talk in a positive, calm way and brainstorm solutions together. 

But instead, I had launched into a lecture. Too much, I’m being too much. “Sorry everyone, I know I’m lecturing, but I’m at my wits' end. I promise I’m almost done.” 

All the kids perked up: “No! Mom! This is really helpful! This is the most concise and understandable you’ve been in a family meeting!” 

Wait, WHAT? You mean when I’m just me, it works? I was emphatically educating, and it was appreciated. 

Renounce the Evil One, Not Your Personality 

My kids’ reaction to my lecture made me realize I had to stop guilting myself into others’ personalities and be a holy Helen. Living fully as God created me was key to this reset. When we renounce the demon and all his works, good things happen. When we renounce ourselves, or our personalities — whew! That is rejecting God and His creation. 

I am not a crafting, fun-and-games mama. I am not going to sing silly songs and do circle time. I was never a baby-sitter or camp counselor. (For the record, I am in awe of those who are.) I can turn anything into a serious conversation with eternal consequences. I have at least a hundred options for solving any conundrum and am ready to overwhelm you with them at any time of day. 

Truth is, my kids hate camps. They love insights; they love understanding all the links between things in this world and the next. It would be good for Mom to lighten up a bit, but they don’t actually want to change me. What a relief! 

God knew what He was doing when He knitted our family together. I am the mom these children need to thrive, my husband the father they need. They are the children we need to thrive: to become holy, to know and love and live in union with God joyfully.   

To fulfill my part in this, I must live as the soul God created, in all her particulars. Sin we cut away, but not ourselves. My kids gave me the gift of a moment of clarity; so much of my rush and frantic living was because I had fallen into thinking I have to be someone other than who I am. 

Steep Jesus 

My lecture was on our need to slow down, strip everything non-essential from our family life and add in those things that allow us to be fully human and love each other. We were to be ambassadors for Christ to the world — sound impossible? It is … unless Christ is living in us and we in Him.   

Remember the old meme where Jesus is being blown off the rosary dangling from a rearview mirror because the driver is going too fast? That about captures our family’s month.   

What we want to be is the warm still water steeping Jesus into us.   

Our speed consumes — or spills — that water before His grace permeates us.  

Of course, we don’t want to be cold, over-steeped, bitter tea either. Just perfectly hot and homey.  

Parent from Spiritual Poverty 

When we hit bottom as parents, we feel like failures. But really it just means that we are finally emptied of self and ready to let God work. I launched into the meeting because I knew it was needed, but not because I had any idea of what would come out of my mouth. I was empty enough to turn it all over to Jesus, and look what He did with over-serious, lecturing, aggravated me!  

Turns out it’s not really about the delivery, it’s about the reception. God doesn’t just give us words. More importantly, He prepares the receiving hearts to bear His fruit in their souls.   

So as we slow down this Easter, drinking in Jesus and each other, let’s worry less about changing His creation (us), and more about praying His grace into the world. 

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Copyright 2025 Helen Syski
Images: Canva