Wisdom from Papa Bear

Karen Estep recounts how she shares wisdom from her grandfather with her freshmen students.

Papa Bear   

My paternal grandfather was an incredibly wise and adventurous man. He was born in Mexico, came to the United States when he was just over two years old with his family, survived polio, lied about completing high school to join the US Army in World War II, earned a master's degree in theology, traveled the world, and lived with Parkinson’s disease several years before passing away. Any time anyone would ask him how he was his response was always, “Cute and cuddly.”

He was the king of bad dad jokes and as stubborn as a mule. Papa Bear (as he was affectionately called) loved all of his children and grandchildren fiercely. Even though he lived in Kentucky and all of us (cousins included) live in the Midwest, he made it to as many of our big days as he could. I was his “round-faced girl” because of my perpetual chubby cheeks and round face. He loved calling me that and when he graduated with his master's degree when I was around 6, we surprised him and I remember running up to him as he shouted joyfully, “There’s my round-faced girl!” 

One of My Favorite Memories   

I have so many good memories of my grandfather, but one of my favorite memories of him is actually a time when he reprimanded me. I was in college, and I was visiting my cousins for the weekend with my family. He and I had gone out to their porch swing to get away from the chaos in the house. He asked me how college was going and I lamented to him that I had a new job on campus and was being trained by a girl that I just did not like. You see, this girl and I were just so incredibly opposite that we had nothing in common besides the fact that we were both getting our elementary education degrees.

He listened for a bit and then looked at me and said the wisest words: “Karen, you don’t have to like someone to learn something from them.” I’m sure afterwards there was a story to go along with those words, but it’s those specific words that have changed my perspective on a lot of things. This quote is posted in my classroom, and I even had to use these words in a recent lesson with my freshman English class.  

Wisdom for Freshmen — and All of Us  

My freshmen recently finished a book that I had never read before this year. I’m incredibly honest with my students and told them that we were going to read the book together, to be patient with me, and I also did some of my own research to help understand the book a bit more. The truth is, everyone hated this book. There were little glimmers here and there that we enjoyed, but the overall consensus was, “This book is boring.”  

However, the book did have a message that I encouraged my students to take to heart: We need to live our lives for today, because when we die there is no going back. We need to stay present to our families and be thankful for our blessings. This message is actually one that not only my freshmen need to hear in our digital age but also one that I think many adults need to hear as well.

I told my students that I had started putting my phone away in the mornings and just being present with my children. Most school mornings, that means watching a cartoon (that I don’t enjoy watching), but just being present with my kids and laughing with them has totally shifted our mornings. The house as a whole is calmer and when it is time for them to go get dressed as I am leaving for work, we all are in better moods.  

After this discovery of using the book’s theme of being more present in my life and it actually working for my family, it prompted me to share my grandfather’s quote with my students. None of us liked the book we had just finished, but we all needed to learn the lesson it had shared with us. I shared the story of Papa Bear correcting me on the porch, and I found that telling my students about my own life helps them to make more of a connection with me too. I even created a question for my final that asked them to tell me about how they were going to use the book’s overall message in their everyday life.  

Papa Bear was a truly wise man. He had no idea that day we talked on my cousins’ porch would have such an impact on my life — or that I would be truly grateful that he reprimanded my lamentations. I hope to continue to share his words of wisdom and his love for bad dad jokes until the Lord decides it’s time for me to go home too.  

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