It was a day preceded by a rough night. The kids tag-teamed and seemed to sleep in shifts so that I never quite got fully asleep before someone small was demanding my awake attention.

Maybe it was thanks to my guardian angel that I got any continuous sleep at all. "Angel dear?!?!" I pleaded. "HELP! I just need TWO HOURS. Please help me!" (I got two-and-a-half, and I needed every minute!)

All the same, I was running close to empty in the morning when Miss Muffet started pushing back with all of her newly-discovered three-year-old will. She pushed all the right buttons - and how well she did it! - and it’s by the grace of God and possibly HER guardian angel that I didn’t just strangle her.

Instead I planted my feet and screamed.

From my very depths, I let it rip. All my frustrations poured out.

And then I was a little better.

But there was a mess on my hands. Both girls had paused during Mommy’s eruption but quickly found their own voices. The oldest took off running upstairs. I picked up the baby and went to the inner sanctum - the bathroom - closed the door, and started praying to clear the red.

What follows is my prayer (and perhaps the prayer of every mother who has had this sort of morning). Amazingly, I walked out of the bathroom feeling better...letting God carry the burden that I just couldn’t.

Our Father...

HELLO??? ARE YOU LISTENING?

...Who art in Heaven...

IS THAT CLOSE ENOUGH FOR YOU TO HEAR ME?

...Hallowed be Thy name...

DO YOU EVEN CARE?

...Thy kingdom come...

WHY NOT NOW? YOUR KINGDOM CAN COME *NOW*!

...Thy will be done...

WAIT A MINUTE. *THY* WILL? JUST WHAT IS *THY* WILL?

...On Earth as it is in Heaven...

DOES THAT INCLUDE THE FUSSY KIDS, THE MESSY HOUSE, THE FRAZZLED WIFE, THE FLAMING INBOX, THE WORK CONCERNS, THE...THE...THE...?

...Give us this day our daily bread...

WITH THE DAY I’VE HAD, FATHER, I DON’T NEED MORE THAN ONE AT A TIME.

...And forgive us our trespasses...

IN THE MIDST OF MY TURMOIL TODAY, LORD, I’M PRETTY SURE THERE WAS SOME SINNING. AND THEN MORE SINNING.

...As we forgive those who trespass against us...

WAIT A MINUTE (AGAIN). *FORGIVE*? AS IN "THAT’S OK, NO HARM DONE"? EVEN WHEN THERE *WAS* SOME HARM DONE? EVEN WHEN I AM NOT SO OK WITH IT? EVEN WHEN MY HAIR’S ON FIRE AND I CAN’T TURN TO ANYONE ELSE BUT YOU? EVEN WHEN...EVEN WHEN...EVEN WHEN...?

...And lead us not into temptation...

YEAH, CUZ WE’RE FULL. I’M JUST SAYIN.

...But deliver us from evil...

INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE KIDS, THE DOG, THE LAUNDRY, THE HOUSEWORK, THE JOB, THE PEOPLE WHO IRRITATE ME, THE HOUSE, THE YARD, THE WEEDS, THE ENDLESS TO-DO, THE BAD HAIR DAYS, THE LOW SELF-ESTEEM DAYS, THE A.D.D. DAYS, THE EXHAUSTION, THE WHINING, THE SCREAMING, THE RAINING ON DAYS WHEN THERE’S LAUNDRY OUT, THE...THE...THE...

...For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever.*

Amen.

THANKS. I NEEDED THAT. AMEN!

*I wasn’t raised Catholic, so when I say the Our Father, I STILL often forget to leave this line off. But there’s nothing wrong with saying it (unless, of course, you’re at Mass, and the whole place is quiet, and you’re trucking along at the top of your voice the one thing you recognize...but that’s not WRONG, it’s just a mite bit embarrassing...and yes, I speak from some experience.).

Copyright 2009 Sarah Reinhard