Awakening Modesty

Oh, this is painful. Utterly painful. Having shopped at our nearby stores for a new swim suit, but with no luck, I have spent most of my morning in this pursuit of a new swim suit.

Could this possibly be more painful?

I am a mother, and to find something that would be appropriate for my children to see me in...well, that's the challenge. Having taught them modesty, to cover all the appropriate parts, as to remain dignified, how can I show up in something less than what I expect THEM to wear?

Modesty has a price tag, I have found. I've been everywhere, with little luck. It seems modesty means investing in that choice, as any suits that might work, came with a hefty price tag. Interestingly enough, less modest suits, were cheaper.

I have learned this lesson before....I am not sure why it surprises me now. When shopping for my three girls, the more modest option is ALWAYS more expensive. Why is that? You'd think it would be the opposite. It's almost like the stores encourage the sale of less-modest clothing. I resolved long ago to invest in my girls. I resolved to spend that extra 10 or 20 dollars as if I was investing in their dignity, their purity, their womanhood.

I knew it would be an expensive resolution. I've seen myself spending more than I would ordinarily more times that I care to count. Even Easter dresses this year, with my daughter, Thinker being 10 years old, I had to spend more than I wanted to, as the modest choice was indeed the more expensive one. The challenge?....to keep them modest without looking out of place.

Folks, we live in this world....but we don't have to be of it. It IS an investment to keep our daughters' purity intact. It IS work to keep our daughters' dignity at the forefront of our minds when dressing them.

No one said this job of Mother was easy. If they told you that: They lied. It's not easy. It's a full time job to keep them in clothes that are appropriate, yet allow for them to be children. They should be able to sit how they like without worrying if they have just flashed someone sitting nearby.

Thinker, just recently asked me if she could stop wearing shorts under her dresses. I sat on her bed one Sunday morning, and talked to her about this choice.

"It would be fine," I said, "But if you choose to not wear shorts under your dress or skirt, then you must sit like a lady. You have to think about how you are sitting, how you play on the floor, what your dress is doing in the wind and so on. You have to start to think about those things. Do you think you can keep all that in mind when you wear a dress without shorts? Can you be responsible?"

She sat quietly and thought for a minute. I wasn't sure what kind of reply I'd get, but seeing her mull this over mentally, I had a feeling whatever she decided for herself, it would be the right decision, she knew the expectations.

She then announced, "Yes, I am ready to take on that responsibility".

How mature of her. I agreed, "You are old enough and I think mature enough to think about how to sit when wearing a dress without shorts. However, I will be watching. If I see your underwear, even once, then you aren't old enough yet."

She nodded and seemed to understand. Every Sunday since, I've noticed those legs crossed, or knees together. I've seen her stop playing on the ground when wearing a dress. She's keeping more to the couch or chairs. She maturing. She's getting it....slowly but surely, she is growing up, and seeing the need to change behavior to prove herself.

I invest in my daughers' dignity. But not only monetarily. I invest my time and energy into their dignity. I talk with them on what it means to be dignified.. We have private parts, and God expects us to do the right thing. He trusts us. He also trusts us, as Mothers, to help our daughters understand the expectations.

Now, children will be children....and Serious and Entertainer are too young for me to expect perfect ladylike posture all the time....which is exactly why they still wear shorts under their dresses. They can sit anyway they like, and still keep their dignity intact. One day, they too, I expect, just like Thinker, will see that they have matured, and understand the need to be alert when wearing skirts and dresses.

All these steps to womanhood, are little milestones my eldest daughter is reaching. Each little change from little girl to young lady is a privilege. It's a gift to be made a girl. How many little perks we enjoy because God in his wisdom, choose us to be WOMAN. Yes, as in all things, there will be crosses that we carry being WOMAN, however, in order to instill in my daughters something that will follow them for the rest of their lives........

I instill.....

A self worth.....

A dignity.......

A self-respect.......

It's all in hopes to build their self-esteem, confidence and self-worth as a daughter of God....a princess whose King demands purity, modesty and chastity.

They need to know they are worth it. They are worth that extra effort to protect themselves. They need to know that I, along with their Dad, believe they are worth it.

Here's a little something from the Catechism:

2522. Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love. ... Modesty is decency. It inspires ones choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is discreet.

and

2524. Teaching modesty to children and adolescents means awakening in them respect for the human person.