Know Thy Self Is Not Alone

“My brain is mush,” I said to my husband.

“I think you can do it, babe,” he said. “You don’t have to know everything right away.”

“I don’t even know my name right now,” I said.

I had just returned from the 2^nd of a 5-day extensive course in Natural Family Planning. This “NFP boot camp” (as I have come to call it) is designed as the first step in being certified to teach NFP to other women and couples. It consists of 5 days of training, 3 of which are 9am-5pm marathon sessions of anatomy, physiology, cervical mucus and alarming statistics about contraceptives and how they are killing the next generation, giving us cancer and stealing our dignity as women.

I agree wholeheartedly with everything being taught. NFP has been a blessing to our marriage and I believe women deserve to know their bodies where designed perfectly by God. Women don’t need to poison their bodies with drugs for them to work.

But, my brain is mush.

I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person. I figured out a way to get a master’s degree and I do amazing things with a $300 monthly food budget for a family of 5.

But, science and math? Let’s just say if anyone’s life depends on my ability to learn anything scientific or mathematical - then we best all be saying our final prayers.

I’m just not a science person. When it comes to grasping literal things like number and “black and white” concepts, all I see are spots.

I know myself, and I knew I couldn’t do it.

My husband really believes in me. So off I went to NFP boot camp.

The class has been a wonderful blessing. I’m so thankful for the courageous work of our instructors and the confidence my husband has in me.

I’m enjoying learning about how to empower women, marriages and families with the truth. I’m also on information over-load. The “nuts and bolts” in life are hard for me. I’m flighty, and I’m worried. After all the hours of class and reading there is a TEST.

“I have to get 100% on this test,” I shared with my husband. “I’m pretty sure I threw a party in college when I passed chemistry with a 70%.”

“Well, I’ll just have to help you study this week. I can quiz you,” my husband said. “I’m great at science.”

“I don’t think you understand,” I said. “That means that when it comes to science I have to be a whole 30% better than my very best.”

“We’ll gettcha there, babe,” he said. “I promise. We can do it.”

All week I’ve been wondering why I feel called to be doing something I know I can’t do. It was in this conversation with my husband I found my answer.

I do know myself. I know I can’t do this by myself.

But, I can do almost anything with my husband and I can do ANYTHING with my husband and God.

This feeling is what I want for all couples. I believe I’m called to work with women and with couples in achieving this type of teamwork in their lives. NFP and faith are the best team-building tools a marriage has.

I know I am limited, but I forgot I’m part of a great three-fold team.

I’ve got my husband and God and together we can pass any test, especially when the answers are from God.

(But since I’ll be the member of the team actually taking the test, I may need a few tries.)

Copyright 2011 Holly Rutchik