---
title: One of ‘Those’ Questions
description: Julie Filby's son asks a challenging question
---

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# One of ‘Those’ Questions

Aug 16, 2012 11:00:35 AM  |  by [Guest](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/guest)

[![](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/Question-Mark-370x400-2.jpeg?width=370&height=400&name=Question-Mark-370x400-2.jpeg "Question Mark")](http://catholicmom.com/2012/07/10/answers-to-summers-most-frequently-asked-questions/question-mark/) One of "Those" Questions

I remember one night, not too long ago, when our 8-year-old’s homework assignment was to read a chapter from his religion book. As Quinn and I finished the section about patron saints, we chatted about the patron of ‘this and that’ and he mentioned St. Benedict—his favorite since learning about him in first grade.

**Quinn:** What’s Benedict the patron saint of? Monks, I guess.  
**Mom:** I guess. Let’s check.

I grabbed his copy of “[Book of Saints for Catholics Children](http://www.catholicfreeshipping.com/Products/cfs_boofsaforcac.html).” As I flipped through the A’s: Agatha the Pure Virgin, Agnes, Aloysius, etc., to get to Benedict—here it came:

**Quinn:** What’s a virgin?

In the deafening silence of his bedroom, the narrative in my head resembled Elaine’s silent freak-out on the Seinfeld episode when she’s trapped on the subway [refresh your memory [here](about:blank)]:

*Nooooooooooo!! I knew this day would come, but not tonight. I’m too tired. Blessed Virgin Mary. We hear it all the time. What *is* that answer I’d prepared for this occasion? Why is my mind blank? Why is my mouth dry? WHERE is his father? Matt? MATT?? Can I pretend I just fell asleep? What. Should. I. SAY????*

OK, just calm down and say *something*. Give an age-appropriate answer, without providing more detail than needed, or more than he asked for.

**Mom:** Well, you know how Dad and I are married? And you know how some of the saints consider themselves married to Christ, and Christ is married to his Church? Well, that’s a virgin: someone who’s not married to another person, but married to Christ.  
**Quinn:** Like a sister?  
**Mom:** Yeah.  
**Quinn:** OK.

Really? We’re good?

Though I’m sure few [no] theologians, pediatricians, or many parents for that matter, would approve of my response, I figure it’s not the last time the topic of virginity will come up. There will be ample opportunity for us [and by "us" I mean his father] to elaborate on it later.

And to think, I could’ve avoided—or at least delayed—the whole thing if I’d only remembered that Benedict is *indeed* the patron saint of monks… as well as Europe, kidney disease and students.

**I WELCOME YOUR COMMENTS:** *What challenging questions have your kids asked? How did you handle it?*

***Copyright 2012 Julie Filby***

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