11 Reasons Why I am NOT a Supermom

I am NOT a supermom.

There. I said it.

I do NOT live up to the standard created by our culture which tells me I have to have every meal perfectly planned, cooked and on the table at 5pm sharp. Not to mention, all the laundry should be clean, crisply folded and promptly put away. Oh, and my son should always behave, especially in public or when people are visiting.

Being a perfectionist, I have tried by hardest to reach the status of supermom, but to no avail. Sometimes, I will admit, this bothers me. I have minor 'breakdowns' in which I tell my husband, "everything is a mess," but I consider myself to be in supermom rehab. At the end of the day, I kind of like all the reasons why I am NOT a supermom. So, here we goooooooo.....

1. No matter how hard I try, my corn tortillas come out in crazy shapes. It would probably help if I were to buy a tortilla press, but I think I might miss the thrill of trying to get all the taco ingredients to stay inside my insanely shaped tortilla!

2. My kitchen looks like a disaster zone when I am done cooking with my 15 month old in tow. When he isn't hanging on my legs, begging to be picked up, or making a mad dash for the oven while I am broiling something, he insists on taking everything out of the cupboards! And I let him.I find it much easier to put the kitchen back together after dinner than to wrestle with him and try to get him interested in his toys.

3. I have pulled poop out of my son's diaper instead of changing it during the night. Yes, I am that parent. I would rather stick my hand in his diaper and pull out the wad of poop than risk changing him on the table and waking him up completely. What can I say? I value my sleep!

4. Sometimes my son cries when I have to go to the bathroom. He cries because I lock him out, not because going to the bathroom is a traumatic experience for him. No worries! The bathroom is the danger zone for small children. It contains the two bowls of cat food, a bowl of cat water and the LITTER BOX! (AKA the sand box if you are 15 months old.) So, yes, he must stay outside the door.

5. I don't function after 4pm and my ideal bedtime is 8:30pm (with 10 hours of sleep). There is no burning the candle at both ends for this mother! I love my sleep...to a fault sometimes. The three months when our son only slept for three hours max at a time was horrible for me! For all you mothers who can work full time, come home to kids and stay up late into the night taking care of household business....I am in awe of your skills.

6. My son (almost) never wears shoes. The only time we put shoes on him is if he will be walking somewhere incredibly dirty or dangerous. i.e. bathrooms, hot blacktop (sometimes). Most of the time, we just let his little piggies breathe fresh air! I cannot tell you the number of times people have said, either jokingly or seriously, "where are his shoes?"

7. I let our son eat things off the floor (as long as it's not toxic or cat litter). He is mostly past the stage of eating everything he sees- we have moved on to giving mommy every little speck- but I honestly just got tired of constantly fishing stuff out of his mouth. So, as long as I am sure it's not going to harm him in some way, I let him have at it.

8. Sometimes I feed feed the little guy slightly spicy food because his reactions are funny. In my defense, I let him try it and only continue if he asks for more- which is most of the time. This has only backfired once, when he ate hot pepper seeds and then rubbed his eyes. Thanks to Aunt Christine, we got that resolved fairly quickly.

9. I don't cloth diaper or make my own wipes. I would love to do both, but for me, both of these things are a major investment of time. I am sure once you learn it, it's not too complicated, but when I start something new, I like to research and ask lots of questions. I am working on both of these endeavors, but haven't quite gotten there yet.

10. I don't know how to sew....actually, I don't even know how to put a button back on! Oh, but I do know how to thread a needle. Score! I hear about mothers making all of their kids clothing (and that's great!), but to me that seems like a dreadful task! Guess it's a personality thing.

11. Nate is a better cook than me. Yes, my husband is ten times better when it comes to preparing food. I think my problem is I love to follow recipes, but at the same time, I don't have the time or energy to do so. Nate is more adventurous and goes by instinct. Other than the phase he went through in high school where he put tomato sauce on everything, I have found his cooking ideas to be enjoyable!

Reading this list makes me laugh! All of the pressure to be a supermom is sort of ridiculous at the end of the day. Go has given this child specifically to me and my husband (as he has done with each child in their respective families). If anyone knows my weaknesses, it's Him. Considering he still decided to bless us with a child, He seems to think we will do some good for him.

I vote we celebrate our differences as mothers, rather than try to fit everyone into some insane, perfect mold. God doesn't do this for the Saints, so who are we to do this for motherhood?

What are some things that make you an individual as a mother? Some things that might seem a bit crazy, but give your family personality and an AMAZING opportunity to experience love?

Copyright 2014 Stephanie Gulya