I lie in bed sandwiched between my children, quietly shedding tears. I recall the events of the day (week!) that has passed. I cry in shame for all the times I have been a "monster mom" to my children, and a grumpy, complaining, "disobedient" wife to my husband.
I think about the "mission" that I believe God has called me to do — to proclaim His message of love, primarily through my blog, my (relatively) new online show, and (yes, it sounds a bit bold!) my first book, which I have started writing but still have not finished. *sighs*
And I cringe. I shudder at the thought.
Me? Host an online show? Write a book? Blog about unconditional love and acceptance, and intentional parenting, and being a "Proverbs 31 woman and wife"?
Imperfect, sinful, impatient, "monster mom" me?
I feel like such a hypocrite. A modern-day Pharisee. "Holy" on the outside, yet "rotting with sin" on the inside.
Why me, Lord? Why me? I am SO not worthy.
But then I remember this passage written by Saint Paul (emphasis mine):
"...I will not boast, except about my weaknesses. Although if I should wish to boast, I would not be foolish, for I would be telling the truth. But I refrain, so that no one may think more of me than what he sees in me or hears from me because of the abundance of the revelations. Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong."
(2 Corinthians 12:5-10)
And I remember that, no matter how sinful a person is, God can use him or her in a powerful way.
God can use me...God can use YOU in a powerful way.
And I remember the importance of embracing who I am...in Christ.
Embrace Who You Are in Christ
Let me tell you a story that you might have already heard, but I’ll tell it to you anyway.
One day, an eagle laid a few eggs in a nest high up on a mountain. One of the eggs, however, fell down to the ground.
Miraculously, it didn’t break but instead landed in another nest — a chicken’s nest. The mother hen didn’t notice it was different from her other eggs, so she sat on all of them until they hatched.
The eaglet, who didn’t know any better, grew up believing that she was a chicken, so she did what chickens do — pecking and scratching at the ground, looking for food, occasionally stretching her wings but never flying. She never knew she was actually made to soar above in the heavens!
Well, that eaglet grew to be a beautiful, magnificent eagle. But she still acted like a chicken. Sadly, she eventually died without ever experiencing what it was to fly up and away in the sky, with the wind beneath her wings!
Sometimes, we are like that eagle. We grow up not knowing who we are. Or maybe we forget it along the way.
The truth is, we are all precious and made in the image and likeness of God. We are His children, made to do great things, just like the eagle in our story.
We moms, especially, usually forget this.
We can get caught up in our lives, trying to balance family life and work (if we work), and a million other things.
We wear so many hats that sometimes we forget to go back to our main and truest identity: that of being Christ’s beloved. His chosen one. His daughter. His "princess."
So I encourage you today, moms, and everyone else reading this: remember who you are in Christ. You are His magnificent creation, and you are meant to do wonderful things for Him — even if it’s “just” in the confines of your home!
Embrace who you are, because God embraces you every day, just as you are! (And if you ever find me forgetting who I am in Christ, as seen on my Facebook posts, please feel free to remind me, OK? We're all in this together!)
Do you believe that God has a special purpose for your life? What hinders you from embracing your identity in Christ? Let's "talk" and support one another in the comments!
Copyright 2015 Tina Santiago Rodriguez
Image attributions: Photo of sky by Dominik Schröder | Photos of woman in field and woman holding sparkler by Morgan Sessions | All via Unsplash
About the Author
Tina Santiago-Rodriguez is a Catholic wife and home educating mom by vocation, and a writer and editor by profession. Among her different roles, she believes that her most important "work" is to be a helpmate to her husband, and to raise her kids to be "Kingdom-Seekers." Find out more about Tina through her website: Truly Rich and Blessed.