Faith and Fear

If you spend any time with other women, you may have noticed how sometimes we tend to jump all over the place in our conversations even when we have a topic to discuss. You know, it’s “hey, look, shiny thing!” and then off we go to grab it. And that is how I wound up taking this questionnaire, the Wagner-Modified Houts Questionnaire, to help me know better know my spiritual gifts. I was pretty sure I knew them before and surprise! or should I say “no surprise,” as I was not surprised. I was taken aback, though.

There are five questions on each gift and you score each question from zero to three; therefore, the highest score possible for each gift is fifteen. (See, I can do math!) I only scored one fifteen, in the gift of FAITH! I was quite pleased with myself; proud that God had so gifted me and started to think I was pretty darn special.

[Tweet "Faith and Fear cannot live in the same house."]

As I thought and prayed about this gift of faith I became a bit sad, even despondent. A sign in a friend’s house says this, “Faith and Fear cannot live in the same house.” The most beautiful gift from my Father is still in the pretty box, barely unwrapped and certainly not visible in my life. I am afraid to unwrap the gift and use it. I know it will take me out of my comfort zone and into the unknown. But my comfort zone is mighty uncomfortable these days. Like a hermit crab who needs a new shell, I know it’s time to move on. And I ask myself on a regular basis, many times during the day, what kind of a person am I who can point out all the times I have experienced the hand of God leading, guiding, holding and loving me and yet I am still paralyzed by fear?

It’s time for a novena; Our Lady Untier of Knots is my choice.