Am I ready to trust?

Via Pixabay(2016), CC0 Public Domain.

This year I have decided that the best thing I can do for myself is not have a long list of resolutions. Don’t get me wrong; I do need to learn and grow but for me I wanted to do something better, but actually do it for 365 days. I didn’t want a long list of things, like I have done before, that just don’t get done and if they do, did it really help be a better person or grow in virtue? That is always the million-dollar question. So, what would really make a difference? What would change me, mold me, and help me grow in virtue?

My resolution is that I want to trust Jesus! After all, he is the reason I am here on this earth; without His will nothing happens. I have learned to understand this slowly but it’s finally clicking, in this stubborn brain of mine. Everything is in His hands! I need to learn that and live it well.

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If I did understand this wonderful truth, I wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night trying to figure things out or questioning--why now? Why me? I would sleep peacefully knowing He is in control and I’m not. For me, that has been very difficult because I am a planner, an organizer, a get-things-done type of person.

However, this last year I learned my lesson. I realized I am not in control of anything, even if I make myself think that I am because I plan for it or it is written down somewhere. Even if I think that worrying about it somehow makes it better or makes it happen. The reality is that anything can change, in a moment's time, and not always for the better. Jesus doesn’t guarantee an easy life. He does, though, promise to be with us and go through it with us. He might even hold our hand or even carry us through whatever happens.

So, I have decided that when my eyes open first thing in the morning I will say to Jesus, “Thank you for today. I give it to you and everything that comes with it.” My hope is that by doing this first my mind and heart will be truly wired to trusting Him. I will remind myself every morning and throughout the day that no matter what happens He is there with me, until the end. He will give me His grace and love if I will only take it.