Small Success: Going Deeper In

We’ve reached week six of Lent. I sat in Mass wondering, am I anywhere closer to God or am I just hoping I am? Going to Adoration, stutter-starting the Rosary, and still feel no where nearer than overwhelmed by all of it, I’d love to tell you I contemplate and adore God but mostly, I find myself with a laundry list for Him of to-do’s.

You can tell me, don’t give the list. I try doing that too. It’s rather like telling a kid not to tell a secret. You can see me almost bouncing on my heels to let God know all that I can think of and more. Is it okay to have this sort of endless need with God? I take comfort in Pope Francis’ words that God never tires of us, but I admit, I get tired of me.

Most Lents, I get to this point and feel like I’m dragging myself to the end. Have I made it to the holiness equivalent of Go, collect 200 dollars? Something in Mass told me, as it does most Lents, I’m tackling this Lent going out into the desert backwards. The goal in exercise, is to become more healthy, and for whatever healthy habits you take on, to become part of life.

The same holds true for whatever it is we embrace in Lent. Trying to get to Easter is missing the point. Trying to become more in love with Christ and less attached to sin is … and in case I missed it, after Mass, in the course of an incidental conversation, someone who did not know my Lenten resolution reminded me to not “stand on my rights” if I wanted to forge a stronger happier relationship with my adolescent.

[tweet "Just trying to get to Easter is missing the point. #Lent #smallsuccess with @sherryantonetti" Stay the course and keep going … on and on … there is no finish line, there’s just always the option to go deeper and deeper in. For my small success, at least for today, I need to go deeper and deeper in, and to remember that in this life, there is no finish line. We’re always saved, but not yet fully; graced, but not yet fully holy. This past week was epic in terms of everyday life. I made it to the gym twice. One son picked his college. One daughter got into two graduate schools. Another daughter organized a march. We had a birthday; one son attended a confirmation retreat. I was honored to be asked to be a Confirmation sponsor by a student, and on Saturday, honored as Volunteer of the Year at a School Dinner Dance Party. What was the biggest success of the week?  Getting back on track for Lent and life … going deeper in.