Courtesy of Ave Maria Press. All rights reserved. Used with permission.[/caption]
Catholic author and speaker Katie Prejean McGrady takes an in-depth look at the Synod on Young People, the Faith, and Vocational Discernment, which began October 3, 2018, in Rome.
I noticed on Twitter that you were at a youth retreat! Where was the retreat and what did you speak about?
So in October, I’ve been to 14 events – youth rallies in Wisconsin, California, Des Moines, Little Rock, and Halifax, along with young adult events and a few events with adult catechists and teachers. It’s been a busy month talking about Jesus! That’s what most of these events are, in a nutshell: opportunities to share the Gospel in a specific and unique way, for a particular demographic, to hopefully inspire and engender deeper faith in their hearts.
I know a little bit about you from reading other new sites: You are a wife and mom, a former high school theology teacher, and currently an international speaker covering topics that pertain to our Catholic youth. How did all of this come about?
My favorite way to describe my current life is this: when you let Jesus “do his thing,” incredible things happen. I got a degree in Theology from the University of Dallas, with the intention of always either teaching or being a parish youth minister. I loved my time as both of those things – I taught for 5 years and ran a parish youth program for 3,000 families, and really did love the work. But, things come in seasons, and after a few years of juggling all of that, and traveling from time to time to speak and do ministry at events, the Lord tugged on my heart to invest myself into that full time, while also juggling new parenthood and being a wife.
So to say it came about in a specific way is hard – it was a very organic, natural development … a movement toward traveling full time and writing full time, while also being able to stay home and be mom, that came about because we prayed about where we were spending our time and energy as a family and asked what Jesus would want from us the most. The number one question I get asked when on the road is, “How can I start doing this too?” and I like to joke back, “What? Sharing the Gospel? Well you can do that anywhere.” And I firmly believe that. For me, right now, sharing the Gospel takes me on the road for more than 100,000 miles a year, but it also demands that I share the Gospel at home with my family, with my friends, and in the grocery store check-out line.
And because of this, you were asked to be a delegate for the Synod that is currently underway in Rome?
Sort of. I was a delegate for the Pre-Synod, which was a unique gathering of 300 young adults summoned by the Pope to come and prepare for the conversation the bishops are currently having at the Synod. This was a unique moment in the life of the Church – a moment and opportunity for the Church to actually talk with young adults, to hear about their circumstances, their experiences, their hopes and dreams, their desires for the Church, and most importantly, to hear what they need from the Church.
What we discussed in March at this gathering informed a document, which should be read like a letter to the bishops of the world, which then informed the Instrumentum Laboris, which is the framework document they’re discussing, debating, and editing in Rome this month. That Instrumentum Laboris will result in a final document that will then (hopefully) be used by those who work with youth and young adults to do dynamic ministry, engage with the young church, and share the Gospel more effectively.
For those of us who are unfamiliar with the inner-workings of the Church, can you break down what a happens at a Synod and how a Synod is different from an Ecumenical Council?
The word “Synod” comes from two Greek words – “sun” and “hodos” meaning “way” and “together.” So, a Synod is really a journey of discernment – a gathering of selected Bishops, summoned together by the Pope based on their expertise, background, where they’re located, their roles in their particular countries, to discuss together a certain and specific topic relevant to the Church. An Ecumenical Council is a gathering of all the Bishops. A Synod is a gathering of some, from all around the world. A Synod usually results in an Apostolic Exhortation, so a letter from the Pope to the faithful unpacking and further reflecting upon the topic, in addition to a Final Document of the Synod Fathers, which is sort of a report and summary of the deliberations and discussions at the Synod. Lastly, a Synod has observers, auditors, and experts that help contribute to the discussions. Right now in Rome, there are about 50 auditors gathered with the bishops, in the small groups, giving short interventions (speeches) from the floor, and interacting with the bishops and Pope in the day to day deliberations, to testify and give witness to the lived reality of young adulthood.
Day to day at a Synod, there are sessions – one in the morning and one in the afternoon/evening – where different bishops and auditors give “interventions” (4-minute speeches) addressing a specific topic from the working document, testifying to their lived experience of faith and working with youth and young adults, and also suggesting ideas and specific concepts they’d like to see included in the final document. There are also small group discussions, according to language, and each group gives a weekly summary of what they’ve discussed and what suggestions they’d like to make for the final document.
Lastly, every day there is a press conference, where a couple of bishops, an auditor, and the communications team at the Vatican answer questions about the Synod deliberations, give a bit of insight and background into what’s being discussed and decided, and of course, answer questions from the press pool. Most importantly, though, the Synod is a time of prayer and discernment. Much of what’s happening is centered in prayer – Mass each day, times of opening and closing prayer on the Synod floor, mini-pilgrimages throughout Rome … remember, the Synod is not a “congress,” it is a gathering of faithful, primarily bishops, to address issues of the Church.
Katie Prejean McGrady. Courtesy of Ave Maria Press. All rights reserved. Used with permission.[/caption]
The National Catholic Register published an article about what was being covered and you went into great detail about the scandal that’s affecting us all. Since you did such a great job breaking that down, I want to ask you more about not so much what the Church has to do but what we, as parents, must do in order to help the Church with its mission. That being said, let’s explore our mission as parents to the youth and how we can be powerful advocates for our faith.
Do you see a difference between the youth who were raised with a “relationship with Christ” mentality versus the “only attend Mass once a week” mentality?
The youth and young adults I’ve encountered who have a personal relationship with Jesus love the Mass, go to Adoration regularly, are going to confession and have spiritual directors, have surrounded themselves with good community, and are generally happier. They have taken ownership of their faith because they’ve pursued a person, who pursued them first, Jesus Christ, and have grown to love him.
The thing is, when I’ve met those young people and asked them “how” that relationship came about and asked them to name “when” that relationship began, a lot of time the answers include “well I used to just go to Mass every Sunday because I had to, but then …” and they name a moment of encounter – they went to a conference where they had the chance to pray, or they had a really great conversation with a mentor, or they read a book that touched their heart, or they listened to a moving talk that challenged them. So honestly, I think the young people that have the relationship with Jesus started off as the “go to Mass once a week” kids, but were then given moments of authentic encounter beyond that Sunday “obligation” (which they may have only perceived as required and not a chance for that encounter to happen each week).
What I’m getting at is this: parents often want to know how to “give faith” to their kids, and I honestly think it comes from exposure – bringing them to Mass, often, and sitting close to the front. Letting them ask questions and finding answers together. Giving them chances to be surrounded by peers also on a journey of faith, especially at engaging youth conferences or weekly parish Bible studies or youth group functions. Sharing with them how you as a parent like to pray, and what it’s done for you personally. Giving witness and testimony to your own journey of faith and being unafraid to articulate what your relationship with Jesus is like. That’s the difference between the “I have to go” and the “I get to go” kid – they’ve had encounters with Jesus and they can name others who have had those encounters too.
The reason this Synod is taking place is to reinvigorate the youth. The Church wants to teach the youth how to have a relationship with our Savior. How do we, as parents, help the Church with that mission?
So some of the answer to this question is in the one above, but I’ll reiterate it here: our faith is best shared through witness and testimony. St. Paul VI said this in Evangelii Nuntiandi (a document that I think should be required reading) when he articulated that if anyone listens to a teacher, it is because they are a witness. Parents, as the first teachers of the faith, are meant to be vibrant, living witnesses of a relationship with Christ, a love of the Church, and a life rooted in the Sacraments. Our kids need to know we are faithful people, just like the world needs to know we are faithful people. That begins at home. It begins by being able to share with our kids the moments when we’ve authentically encountered Christ. It begins when we’re able to pray with our children, when we’re able to teach them how to talk to the Lord. It begins when we are unafraid to tackle the tough questions our kids may have about the faith, searching for answers and coming to belief and understanding together.
People don’t die to defend facts, and they certainly don’t live for the facts. People die, and people live, because of other people – because of authentic, life-giving, life-changing relationships. We, as parents, have to give our children numerous opportunities to meet the person of Jesus Christ, to expose them to Him and to encourage our kids to grow to know Him in an intimate way. This means we put them in front of Jesus in the Adoration chapel. This means we tell the stories of the Gospels to them and help them realize what Jesus did then He still does for us now. This means we share stories of our own encounters with Jesus, being unafraid to share with our children moments when we’ve really known the Lord and loved Him and been loved by Him. This means we make Church less “the thing I have to do” and more “the place I get to go” where my life is changed and I can meet Jesus. And this means we have to let kids take ownership of their faith.
I think a lot of times, we try to imprint “our version” of faith upon our kids. We want them to like what we like, do what we do, and have just a “miniature version” of our relationship with Jesus. But if we share about our relationship with Christ, tell them how we like to pray, and then guide them in a journey of discovery for themselves, we’ll find that their encounters with Christ may be different, but Christ is the same. And that’s okay! We have to let our children explore within the faith, and be the guides for them to understand, to grow, and to fall in love with the Lord. I know this sounds very lackadaisical, and perhaps even idealistic (since I only have a 1 year old), but the teens I’ve taught and worked with and the young adults I’ve spoken to have shown me that when there’s freedom and ownership of the faith, and a freedom to explore the faith and encounter Jesus, it sticks more and longer.
In closing, our readers and contributors at Catholicmom not only have a desire to evangelize to our families, but to reach our church and our communities. What are the steps that we need to take in order to be powerhouses of faith? We need more men and women like you advocating not only for our youth but for the parents of these youth. How do we get ourselves ready for this mission?
A few days ago, I had a little free time before my daughter and I had somewhere to be, so I decided to pop over to our parish’s perpetual Adoration chapel for a quick holy half hour. We walked in, she and I, to a chapel with only one other woman in there who, upon seeing us, immediately clucked her tongue, rolled her eyes, and seemed annoyed that I’d just walked in with my child. All I did was walk in and very softly whisper to Rose, “Look, there’s Jesus. Tell him hi,” and my daughter waved. That brought upon me the ire of a probably very well-meaning, nice woman, but who in that moment, was a snapshot of how unwelcoming and hostile different generations can be to young families. Not only was I mad, but I was also hurt – that I, a young Catholic mom and my daughter, were seen as a burden, distraction, and nuisance to the person the Adoration chapel “is for.”
So, I did what any millennial mom does … I posted about it on Twitter and Facebook, and a conversation began with some folks in my diocese about starting to do a family day of Adoration, one day a month at a parish in town, where children and their families can come to pray and not be afraid of disturbing others. Obviously not a place where kids get to run around and destroy things, but a place where if a kid makes a little noise or wants to walk around and explore (like my squirmy 1-year-old who just discovered running and wants to just walk up and down the pews), then they’re free to do so, and moms and dads can take comfort in the fact that they aren’t a burden to others.
There’s a lot wrapped up in that little story, but the gist of it is this: if we want to make something happen, we need to be willing to do it ourselves. I want a family Adoration hour, so I’m talking with someone to help organize it and make it a reality. If you want or need something in your parish or diocese that will aid your family (and others) to grow in holiness, ask for it – and then volunteer to help make it happen. If you see something concerning or worrisome, speak up. I think a lot of Catholics (myself included) think we have to wait around for permission to somehow “do” something for the Church.
Hear me now, moms and dads: you do not need permission to serve your Church, because you and I are the Church. By virtue of our baptism, and confident in the grace we’re all swimming in, we are called to be saint-makers, disciples, passionate witnesses, authentic mentors, and give testimony to what we believe and make incredible things happen for our families and others that we meet.
This means we need to be steeped in prayer. We need to be reading Scripture, every day. We need to be frequenting the Sacrament of Reconciliation, as often as we can. We need to be knocking on the pastor’s door and setting up meeting with the bishop to share our ideas and offer our support for dynamic things to occur. We need to be finding community with other parents who are in the same boat as us, and together in that boat, row to the shores of a Church that provides what we need and gets us to Jesus.
To learn more, visit KatiePrejean.com and follow Katie Prejean McGrady on Twitter: @katieprejean.
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Copyright 2018 Kelly Tallent
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