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A few months ago I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Divine Intimacy, with Dan Burke. As he and his wife, Stephanie, were discussing God's will, his wife mentioned the Surrender Novena. She talked about how it had truly changed her life. I remember thinking at that moment that I struggle with God's will. Even as I am writing this, that seems absurd. How can I, a mere human, trust myself more than my Creator?
Sadly, I have sinned in that way many times. The sin of self-reliance is something I have struggled with for all of my adult life. For many years, I attributed it to my "A-type of personality." The truth is I was just making an excuse for myself. If I want to be honest with myself and with God, I didn't trust him enough. I wanted to have control or believe that I am in control. So this self-awareness led me to look up this novena. I am so thankful to God and to the Burkes that they shared it with the world.
I began praying it daily and I haven't stopped since; it's part of my morning prayer time. It was powerful for me because in the prayer, Jesus is speaking directly to me and telling me how hurt He is by me trying to take control of my life. His words touched me deep inside and made me think how wrong I was to not surrender my life to Him who is so wise. As time continued, many graces were given to me. I knew it was Him letting me know, "See what happens when you truly surrender to me."
I was in awe many times knowing that the only explanation for what was happening was God's beautiful grace: a grace which I don't deserve but that I receive with love and humility. It is such a gift to have this relationship with Jesus. Our relationship is a journey like many relationships are, a journey that draws us closer together. I am truly trusting to let go even if letting go means suffering and pain. I have stopped asking "why me" and instead asking for him to give me the courage or whatever he thinks I need in the trial.
As moms, it's even harder to surrender because of how much we love our children. Many times we want to keep them from pain and suffering and even to take their place. What has helped me with this is reflecting on the fact that God entrusted my son to me, he is His and not mine. He is his Heavenly Father who loves him more than I ever could and that being the case He has to know what is best.
I invite you to take a look at the Surrender Novena; it is life changing.
Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Estrada
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