We Do Santa a Little Differently in Our House

Teri Sinnott shares advice for parents whose ideas on Santa (and Elf on the Shelf) aren't the same as everyone else in the neighborhood.

As Christmas approaches, my excitement rises. It’s my favorite time of year. But without fail, someone will utter the words, “Better be good, so Santa brings you lots of presents.” 

My kids have always looked at me or my husband confused. I smile and change the subject. People mean well. But we do things a little differently in my house. 

Last year, for the first time, my oldest looked at me and said “I do not think Emmy is on the nice list this year.” I honestly was taken back. Ugh. I thought I did a great job of ridding her mind of those ideas, but this year has taken another turn, with a full-out meltdown from her after she had done something wrong because she thought that meant she would not get Christmas presents.

The message is still out there, even if it doesn’t come from us. 

I don’t do Elf on the Shelf. I personally find him a little creepy. This could have something to do with growing up in the Chuckie era, but a little elf, mischievously moving around my house, spying on my kids, nope, not for me. 

Absolutely no judgment against those who do it. I know a lot of parents that enjoy it. Their ideas are super creative, and I like seeing their pictures. I just don't do it. 

Other than the creepy factor is the fact that we don’t use Santa as a threat or a punishment. We never have. Both my husband and I agreed that we wanted to do things a little differently from when we were kids. 

First, Santa isn’t always watching them. I remember hearing a child equate Santa watching them to how God watches them. “Santa can always see what I am doing, just like God.” I don’t want my kids elevating Santa to the level of God. If your child has some confusion, I have seen some “Santa cams” which might be a good alternative to the “all-knowing and all-seeing” Santa Claus. 

We also don’t threaten that bad behavior means lost gifts. Christmas already has too much focus on gifts. And frankly, what my kids get for Christmas doesn’t reflect their behavior. Threatening the loss of gifts would be an empty threat. 

I also don’t want them to behave only for gifts. That goes against how we discipline in our home. I want them to behave because I have taught them moral values based on our faith and not to gain something in return. 

When it comes to gifts, we do the small toy gifts from Santa. Santa brings each girl a few small items and fills their stocking with candy. But the big stuff is from us. 

My reasoning for this? I am reminded of the child who isn’t getting much for Christmas, or maybe anything at all. It could be because one of their parents recently lost a job. Maybe there was a death in the family. Maybe their mom is working two jobs just to make ends meet. Those kids hear the stories of their friends getting an Xbox or an iPad from Santa ... and they wonder if they were not good enough. How good did they have to be to get those presents?

When it comes to gifts, we are really trying to focus on giving more than receiving. Every year my kids donate many of their toys to other children. They pick out what they would like to give away. They are always more generous than I would expect. 

Last Christmas my two oldest girls picked angels off the tree at church. They wanted to use their own allowance money they had saved. They made sure they did their chores because they wanted to have enough money to spend. They did the shopping themselves. They were so incredibly excited to drop their gifts off at church. Their joy in buying for others made my mommy heart happy. 

This year the church is doing a pj drive and the girls were so excited to pick their stars. As a family we made a list of ways that we want to help others this Christmas. 

In the past, we have made a full Christmas dinner and dropped it off to a family in need. 

For so many Jesus has taken a back seat to all the other Christmas “stuff.” It is important to my husband and me that everything we do during the Christmas season is focused on Jesus. 

Celebrating Jesus’s birthday is why we have Christmas. Our Beloved Savior. The most important birth that will ever take place. Emmanuel. God among us.

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Whatever your views are on Santa, or that stealthy little elf, there are ways to bring back the meaning of Christmas. #catholicmom

Whatever your views are on Santa, or that stealthy little elf, there are ways to bring back the meaning of Christmas. Here are some ideas:

Operation Christmas Box
Adopt a child through Vision Trust or other similar organizations
Give to local charities
Donate toys or items to families in need
Send Secret Santa gift cards to families who need them
Volunteer at the soup kitchen or local food pantry
Participate in an Angel Tree program with gifts for children

If you don’t have financial means to purchase extra gifts, there is still so much you can do:

Pray for people
Volunteer
Visit the elderly
Make cards for residents in nursing homes
Go caroling (social distancing, of course)

Read the Bible. Read the Christmas story multiple times up until Christmas to your children.

Regardless of your views on Santa, elves, or traditions, there is always a way to keep the focus on Jesus.

Copyright 2021 Teri Sinnott
Images: Canva Pro