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Elizabeth Pardi shares strategies to help kids peacefully transition to other activities after watching TV or using computers.

A couple years ago, I listened to a podcast on the topic of screen time. The mother being interviewed was adamant that screens were not allowed in her home, explaining that her kids attended a completely screen-free school because screens are nothing but trouble for them. That’s when I stopped listening.

Look. It doesn’t take an expert to conclude that kids should be exercising their brains and bodies instead of sitting stationary, entranced by pixels on a screen. I also understand that for many parents, it’s easier to ban screens altogether than worry about monitoring content, dealing with the begging and tantrums, installing parental controls, and all the rest.

But at the end of the day, as parenting advisers Mike and Alicia Hernon of the Messy Family Project put it, “Screens are here to stay.” Our kids are growing up in a world where technology and what screens have to offer will only continue to advance. Our best bet is to teach them to responsibly use the technology, rather than treat it like the enemy.

Still, while screens can be a wonderful source of entertainment and even education for our kids, there’s just something about turning it off that evokes those less than favorable reactions, especially from boys, who are more visually stimulated. Hell hath no fury like my 4-year-old son when an episode of Little Einsteins comes to a close.

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Our best bet is to teach our children to responsibly use technology, rather than treat it like the enemy. #catholicmom

Here are three ways to make the transition from screen time to real life a little smoother.

Be gentle and understand why kids struggle

The best explanation I’ve ever heard for why kids melt down or become terrible people post screentime was given by clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy. On her podcast Good Inside, she explained that while watching a show, a kid is blissfully entertained without having to exert any effort. Then, when the screen goes off, it’s back to reality where sharing, obeying and using one’s brain and self-control become necessary again. This is a really hard transition for adults, let alone for little ones.

In light of this, I’m careful not to ask much of my kids in the immediate aftermath of a TV show. It’s not the time to demand chores or homework gets done. I do my best to empathize, saying things like, “I know it’s so hard when the TV goes off. Do you want me to hold you for a little while?”

 

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Have the next activity ready

This totally backfired on me one time because apparently watercolors are “soooo boring” but in general, it’s a great strategy. Since kids tend to have trouble knowing what to do with themselves after screen time, I try to know what our next move will be, instead of shutting the TV off and leaving them to their own devices (no pun intended). This is a surefire recipe for fighting and whining. The next activity does not have to be anything fancy. Sometimes it’s as simple as going out to the trampoline. Kids often need direction, especially when they’re coming out of the screen time coma.

 

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Prepare them for that turn-off funk

Once again, I have Dr. Becky to thank for this. She calls it “emotional vaccination.” This is essentially having a conversation with your child about a situation before it happens so they are prepared and know how to handle it when it arises. I’ve sat my kids down before and talked about how their bodies and brains feel after screen time and why it’s like that. Additionally, I often pause a show in the last five minutes to warn them that it’s about to be over so they’re not taken off guard.

 

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Of course, there is no perfect recipe for happy, grateful kids when the TV goes off. But the more we understand them and work with where they’re at, the easier it is to navigate those post-screen time breakdowns.


Copyright 2021 Elizabeth Pardi
Images: Canva Pro