3 Ways to Lean into Your Introverted Nature

Denise Jelinek shares strategies for integrating your introverted nature into your vocation.

Wouldn’t you agree parenting becomes easier the more you know the uniqueness, quirks, and personality of your children? And doesn’t marriage improve the more you understand your husband? 

The same is true for living as YOU!  

As you understand how the Lord uniquely made you, you can integrate that knowledge into your life.  

This happened to me when I learned God created me to be introverted. 

This knowledge helped me stop thinking I was different or wrong, which is common for introverts living in a very extroverted world. My marriage to my extroverted husband improved, and‌ my life felt more natural as I learned how to lean into the way God created me rather than resisting it.  

Are you an introvert?    

You may be introverted if:

• you like to be alone (introverts recharge in solitude)   
• you’re happy doing simple activities (introverts need less stimuli to make their brains happy) 
• you can get “lost in your thoughts” and “day dream” (introverts enjoy thinking deeply) 
• you like to think before talking or making decisions  
• you prefer one-on-one conversations   

If this is you, welcome to the next level of awareness. You are taking the first step in acknowledging the beauty of how God uniquely created you! 

The Lord wants to come more fully into the world through you, so let’s celebrate all the gifts of your introverted nature. You likely are: 

• creative, imaginative, and a great storyteller 
• a great listener and empathetic, sensing others’ feelings 
• very observant and notice subtleties (e.g., you know what your kids are “saying” without words) 
• a careful decision-maker and able to weigh many options 

The pitfalls of being an introvert

Understanding that God created me this way, I know I need to pay attention to and protect my energy because of the common pitfalls of being an introvert: 

• Self-criticism: labeling yourself as “socially awkward” (Introverts can be very social when their energy isn’t depleted.) 
• Comparing yourself to others who seem able to “handle more” or are “more fun” (You are fun and can handle what the Lord asks of you when you aren’t burnt out.) 
• Living in a state of chronic burnout due to continually overextending yourself  
• Being unaware of how everyday activities affect your energy 
• Not scheduling solitude, preventing you from truly being at your best for your family 

Three key practices to foster your introverted nature

Embracing your introverted nature is freeing, and giving yourself the gift of integrating these few key practices can be life-changing. 

Learn about your introverted brain and how it works.

This really helped me understand myself and my extroverted husband, how our brains work, and the reasoning behind some of our differences. It also gave me great insight to my children. 

Try the Three Energy Buckets exercise.

This exercise will help you get clear how to steward one of your most precious resources: your energy. Get 3 sheets of paper, write on the top one paper: “Fillers/Healer”; the next “Contributors”; and the next “Stealers/Drainers.” Then list the activities in your life that fall into these categories: 

• “Fillers/healers” are things that replenish your energy. They make you feel ready and capable to contribute your energy and meet the demands of your current state of life. (For me, this includes solitude, silence, receiving the Sacraments, slowing down, and sleeping.)  

• “Contributors” are the ways the Lord is calling you to contribute your energy to bring Him into the world. Obviously, if He wanted you to live in solitude all the time, He wouldn’t have called you to the vocation of marriage and motherhood. (For example, I contribute my energy through coaching clients, taking care of my home, planning trips and experiences for my family.) 

• “Stealers / Drainers” are ways you unintentionally spend your energy that are depleting rather than fruitful. These ways are not God’s will, as they don’t energize you or help you contribute to the world. (My energy drainers are ​​rushing around, ruminating, being disorganized, multi-tasking, focusing on others, believing falsehoods about my worth, and interrupting people.)  

I suggest doing this exercise in multiple sittings since God will reveal more in time. This exercise is so effective because it brings awareness so you can make intentional choices about how to spend your time. For example, if you get an hour alone, you will know what activities will recharge your energy and which will drain you. 

Schedule smart.

Look at your calendar every week. Get clear on the essentials (where God wants you to contribute your energy) and schedule pockets of “refill”/solitude time (use the list created in #2 to make that time effective). 

Recognizing these characteristics takes intention, but it’s worth it to protect your energy so you can be the most supportive person for you and your family. Even if it seems like no one else appreciates that solitude is part of serving your family, God understands and is pleased you’re caring for yourself. Take comfort; He created you this way.

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Copyright 2024 Denise Jelinek
Images: Canva