A Busy Mother's Advent

Rachel Watkins ponders the need for Catholic moms to make room for self-care in the busy Advent season.

If you keep track of the year from the displays at your nearest big-box store, Christmas has been coming since before Halloween. We, however, adjust our calendars to the liturgical calendar. We know we begin preparing for Christmas with the first Sunday of Advent and will continue to celebrate it well into January, perhaps into February with Candlemas. We know that the 12 days of Christmas come after and not before; we know the real story of St. Nicholas and how he was highjacked for Santa Claus. We celebrate throughout Advent with feast days for St. Andrew and St. Nicholas and St. Lucy and our Lady of Guadalupe.

We have an Advent wreath, an Advent calendar (with or without chocolate), and perhaps even an Advent chain -- handmade from green and red construction paper -- hanging somewhere near our kitchen. We consider carefully when to set up and decorate the tree, and usually have very strong opinions about that. We may have a shoebox crib waiting to accept pieces of straw or yellow yarn from our children as signs of the quiet sacrifices they will make during Advent -- which is, of course, a mini-Lent. One of our crȇches (and we have more than one) has a removable Baby Jesus so we can place him in on Christmas morning as we sing “Happy Birthday.” We have a stack of picture books retelling the story of the Nativity, a new one each night before bed, a seasonal meditation to share with our evening prayers … and on and on and on.

And, I haven’t even mentioned hanging the outside lights, the parties planned with family and friends, school pageants, concerts, and parish activities. Did I mention the Secret Santa exchanges at places of work, between friends or through social media? And the music -- don’t forget the music! From Josh Groban to the Muppets, we love hearing the Christmas music and can’t stand it when radio stations have it starting before Thanksgiving but can’t manage to keep it past the 26th!

In other words, we KNOW Christmas and we do it well.

Of course, the arrival of Jesus is well worth celebrating. Of course, we are busy: we’re having a baby! In the simplest of terms, our calendar is supposed to be chock full of stuff to do. We dip deeply into the treasury of our faith to celebrate all that this season has to offer. We also strive to take our joy to those we meet who see Christmas only for the presents under the tree. However, I cannot be the only one who feels Advent and Christmas can make me a bit grumpy. I can easily understand why the Grinch hated Christmas.

And the antidote to this? Do we do less? Do we do more? I cannot answer for your family and what your circumstances may necessitate, but I know to make sure I make it through Christmas I have to include something, each day for me: my own little Advent calendar, as it were.

Self-care is a tricky word these days; as we all know, it can easily manifest itself as a neglect of duties as wife and mother. Spending hours away from the people Jesus has given you is not healthy self-care. But, ensuring you have at least a few minutes by yourself with God who loves you unconditionally goes a long way in helping you love unconditionally as well.

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Little acts of love will go far in bringing back the Christmas wonder that can be lost when you are the parent planning it all. #catholicmom

But how to do this? Use your own family’s calendar to inspire you. With each addition to the Jesse Tree, quietly ask for prayers for yourself. Consecrate each of your activities to the Holy Family, asking them to watch over your own holy family and all you have to do. Take a moment and read one of those beautifully illustrated children’s books you have by yourself. When driving to another party and you hear a favorite Christmas hymn on the radio, do it not as a sing-along but listen quietly as a prayer. Knowing there are no sugar plums waiting to dance in your head as you sleep, end your day not worrying about your still too long to-do list, but in praise to the Lord returning as a child.

These little acts of love will go far in bringing back the Christmas wonder that can be lost when you are the parent planning it all.

Copyright 2021 Rachel Watkins
Images: Canva Pro