A Mother's Day Detour

Roxane Salonen tells how her Mother’s Day took a detour that turned out to be memorable—even blessed.

Mother’s Day 2023 began with Mass. I wouldn’t know until a few hours later just how much I’d need the graces that flow from the blessed Eucharist.

The plan for later in the day was to meet for a special Mother’s Day dinner at the pub where our middle child works, but not long after Mass, my husband reported a change in plans. That daughter hadn’t been feeling well, so she wouldn’t be working after all. From that, Plan B was put into place. We would order dinner in and celebrate at our home with whomever could join us.

But something about it didn’t sit right with me. I hadn’t heard from that child for a while. Since she isn’t one to supply frequent updates, I began worrying. What might she be struggling with?

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My focus began to shift at that point, but I didn’t anticipate how, just a few hours later, I’d be sitting in urgent care, waiting to accompany her to a CT scan. As the nurse led her into a room to discuss the results, me trailing her, she remarked, “Each room gets more serious.” She was right. We were now staring at what looked to be a surgical bed with wheels. “Am I going to have to have surgery?” she said worriedly.

She had other things on her mind. She’d recently finished college finals, and was supposed to move into a new apartment by the next day, needing to be fully out of her old place soon. She didn’t have time for surgery. But her body said otherwise.

She’d been suffering since Friday, when, after having a few bites after work, the symptoms came on with a vengeance. She had been in agony that evening and all day Saturday, thinking it might be gall stones. But the tests revealed otherwise; the source of discomfort was an inflamed appendix, and yes, it would have to come out as soon as possible to avoid rupture. I texted my husband: “Cancel our dinner plans.”

After rearranging things, he joined us, and we departed together to the medical center across town. We were warned it could be a long wait, with surgery set for around 10 PM, which would mean about a seven-hour stall.

By now, I was committed to Plan C: waiting with our daughter, however long it would take. Despite the fact that she will turn 23 this month, a daughter sometimes still needs her mother—and, to be honest, a mother sometimes still needs her daughter.

As the “wasted” hours went by, I knew that there was no place I would rather be than right there. And, despite the momentary disappointment of changed plans, I felt somehow that this plan was the best one of all. No, I wasn’t happy that our daughter was facing an emergency surgery, at what was, for her, the worst of timing. But what more does a mother’s heart yearn for than to be near the child in need?

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Not all of those moments were “productive.” For some of the time, we sat in silence together. I worked on a project on my laptop, and she watched her favorite show on her phone. But mixed in with that, there were conversations, and a prayer her dad and I offered together for a safe surgery, and a delightful discourse with one of her nurses, a Peruvian and a lawyer in her previous life. She shared about her home country and its bounty, inviting us to visit sometime. She also talked of her struggles of having to learn English and change careers mid-life.

I couldn’t have asked for a better nurse for our daughter, for she, too, was a mother of young-adult children. There were no language or cultural barriers in our shared motherhood, and I was confident our daughter was in the best hands.

Later, in briefly sharing about our Mother’s Day ordeal on Facebook, a fellow mother friend noted, “Yes, indeed, Mother’s Day sometimes goes that way. I’ve been there and it actually drives the whole meaning of Mother’s Day home.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Click to tweet:
What more does a mother’s heart yearn for than to be near the child in need? #CatholicMom

The surgery was successful, and our daughter seems to be recovering well. On Monday, we gathered the troops and got her moved from one apartment to the next. By evening, she was in her new place. As I made her bed, I was comforted thinking that she would be laying her head down there hours later and could rest, knowing she is not alone in this world, and is deeply loved.

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And by the way, Plan D happened. After the boxes were successfully placed anew, my husband suggested we revisit our hoped-for dinner plans at home. Three of our five children were able to come, including the daughter who’d been food-deprived for several days. We had a wonderful barbecue dinner and visit, and I was able to enjoy my waiting, unopened Mother’s Day gifts.

It was an absolutely gorgeous, though delayed, Mother’s Day, in every way.

Q4U: What detours have you experienced lately? What unexpected blessings came from them?

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