A Time for Changes

Kristina Talbot shares how her journey into perimenopause is shifting from battle to embrace. 

It’s no secret that the ads we see on social media and search engines are generated from algorithms based on data from things we have viewed. Lately, my algorithms have figured out I have entered the perimenopause zone. From weight loss ads to tips on intermittent fasting to humorous reels about “Perry,” clearly, the algorithms have identified the demographic I now find myself in. This change has been quite the roller coaster emotionally, physically, and spiritually.   

Understanding the many impacts of a woman's cycle 

One of the many blessings of natural family planning through the years has been a deep knowledge and understanding of how the body works and the cyclical impacts on each facet of my being. Years ago, a wise spiritual director noted the importance of planning and coordinating around one’s cycle and the need to consider the hormonal shifts women experience. To the good, this self-awareness made the anticipated changes of perimenopause more apparent and evident. Despite my intellectual knowledge that this season is supposed to happen, the changes in mood, energy, and body shape have not all been welcomed.    

I found myself going into combat on workouts and engaging a tough-love mentality that was more defeating than life-giving. The age-old fight of man vs. nature was in full effect, and my mental health was suffering as a result. Through a series of conversations, prayer, information gathering, and therapeutic work I became surprised to learn that everything I was experiencing which made me feel "off" was normal and to be expected for this season of life. 

At first, I did not embrace this as good news and found myself resistant to the notion that I would just have to endure hormonal instability for an indefinite number of years (3-10 is what they often say). But over time, as I opened my eyes and heart to what was happening beyond my body there became room to shift the narrative from a fight against aging to a journey through seasons. 

A journey through seasons

There is an appointed time for everything, 
And a time for every affair under the heavens. 
A time to give birth, and a time to die; 
a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant. 
A time to kill, and a time to heal; 
a time to tear down, and a time to build. 
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; 
a time to mourn, and a time to dance. 
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them; 
a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces. 
A time to seek, and a time to lose; 
a time to keep, and a time to cast away. 
A time to rend, and a time to sew; 
a time to be silent, and a time to speak. 
A time to love, and a time to hate; 
a time of war, and a time of peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

As I leaned into this notion of time and seasons, I realized that instead of fighting with my body to remain as it has been, it is time to lean into the gift of what my body and self, have become. For over a decade, I had dwelled quite literally in "a time to give birth." In a sense, the mission of my body was centered around bringing forth life and sustaining it. Whether I was pregnant, nursing or helping my body recover from that beautiful work, there was a time to plant and build our family in ways for which I am grateful.   

The mission has changed

Now, the mission has changed. No longer do I have tiny arms embracing me below the knees and while I keep and treasure the memories of those early years, we are now in the work of learning to love each other within our household and discovering ways to laugh together and build upon the foundation that has been laid.    

The mission and purpose of my body has also shifted. Health and wellness have been redefined to mean so much more than how this Florida girl looks each summer. The new mission is longevity and the ability to continue engaging in new and adventurous experiences with my loved ones. 

When I think about hiking rim to rim at the Grand Canyon with one of my sons or traveling to the Holy Land on a pilgrimage with my daughter, my heart lights up. These trips were not accessible when I was moving through successive pregnancies and vacuuming Cheerios out of the minivan. But they are on the horizon as our household matures. I’m learning to accept that aging does not have to be a cross to bear; it too can be a beautiful gift. Perhaps I am closer to embraces than I realized.  

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Copyright 2024 Kristina Talbot
Images: Canva