A Wee Bit of Irish Wisdom

Megan Cottam seeks to cultivate some habits from her recent travels that enhance the Christian life.

Father Jim, my former pastor, boss, and mentor, recently retired from the Diocese of Richmond this past June, and had the opportunity to visit his family’s land in Northern Ireland. Along with three of his other former coworkers throughout the decades of his ministry, including my sister, I had the extraordinary opportunity to travel with him, getting a unique perspective on Irish history and culture. While the coasts are breathtaking, the greenery vibrant, and the sheep abundant, it was the subtle habits of the people we encountered that truly struck me.

Here are the four I’m striving to internalize as we set back into the pace of American life:

“No Bother”

One of the first stops after arriving at Cissy’s Cottage, the family farm, was to walk down to the church where Cissy herself was buried. Father grew up knowing Cissy and her sheepdogs, but she had passed away since his last visit. As we arrived, four church workers were outside maintaining the burial grounds. We asked to locate the grave, and everyone stopped what they were doing in earnest pursuit. We checked the records but could not find the tombstone.

Accepting defeat, we continued walking the grounds and exploring the church, until we were interrupted by shouts from the workers: “We found it! She’s over here!”

Their enthusiasm mimicked that of an actual family member after their 30 minutes spent searching for us. We gathered around the grave as Father Jim prayed. The scene did not look like a group of strangers, but nine new friends, gathered together to honor someone only one of us had ever met.

This mentality continued wherever we went. Shopkeepers walked out of their stores to show us something down the road, bartenders stopped serving their guests to share a story, and guides talked to us as friends. In each turn, when we tried to share our gratitude for their extraordinary care, the phrase uttered was always “No bother.” And it truly wasn’t. Interruptions for the sake of social connection were a welcome aspect of everyday life.

Can we say “no bother” when our kids ask us for extra attention, a coworker needs help, or a friend changes our scheduled plans? This mentality surrenders the control back to the Lord, opening our hearts to the opportunities He presents.

“Spotty Sunshine”

We woke up to our first Irish morning- misty rain, mild temperatures, and a few gusts of wind. Upon checking the forecast to determine our mission for the day, we discovered the phrase “spotty sunshine.” This translates in America to “mostly cloudy” or “scattered showers.” The level of positivity in that forecast truly permeates the way the locals on our trip encountered everything.

“It’s just a wee bit down the road,” does not mean a short drive; it simply means you can make it. “It’s a good road” means closer to “you’ll survive” than an actually paved, even ride. We discovered a sincere scale of goodness in Irish language: Something can be good, nice, lovely, and grand — in that order.

Our outlook on life affects how we experience it. What would it look like if we explained our challenges with language that describes our overcoming it rather than the hardship we will endure while we face it? As I have attempted to weave this into my everyday life, I find changing the focal point from struggle to eventual success makes the entire process more bearable.

“You Bookin’?”

Upon entering a restaurant, we would be asked the question, “You bookin'?’” which means “Do you have a reservation?” In this region, you do not reserve a table for a specific time, but for an evening. You can arrive at any point in the evening, and your table will be waiting for you. These restaurants valued saving space for their regular customers over maximizing their profits.

In a similar fashion, at the end of the meal, you were not handed the check or asked to make room for the next group. That table was yours until you expressed to the waitress you were ready to leave.

My sister and I have a strict gluten-free diet, which can be a source of stress when eating out in the United States. We entered St. George’s Market in Belfast to small vendors and food stands. With one glance at each other, we shared the same thought: “We are never going to find food here!” Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a sign: “Gluten Free Bread Available: French Toast.”

We nearly ran. The woman behind the counter not only accommodated us, but pulled out a clean, new griddle as though we were in her personal kitchen and began to chat with us throughout the entire cooking process. 20 minutes later we had the best French toast of our lives and a novel-full of stories about “Marge’s” cooking history.

The greatest obstacle to hospitality is busy-ness. Just like Martha and Mary in the Gospels, the Irish choose “the better part.” Where can we scale back our packed schedules to be present in each moment? The locals prefer to ask how well they can do something instead of how quickly. The hospitality is certainly worth the wait.

The Uncle-in-Law to Your Second Cousin, Twice Removed

One travel fear was that a group of us who all work for the Catholic Church were traveling to Northern Ireland, which is traditionally Protestant. What would happen when they asked us what we do? A few days in, I realized this was misguided. No one cared. How liberating! They did care if we had family tied to Ireland, and how large our family was.

Identity is strongly tied to family and friends. If anyone did describe their job, it was in reference to how they served the community, not what accolades or achievements they’ve accumulated. Thanks to Father Jim’s family heritage, we accumulated many folks who considered themselves related to him somewhere deep down the family tree! This practice was a beautiful way of valuing that we are all connected.

One bartender shouted multiple times, “I knew Cissy Begley! I knew Cissy Begley!” as though he was staring at his own long-lost cousin in Father Jim. Conversation thrived, and each person knew a bit more about their own family history through the swapping of narratives.

Where do we find our identity? Is it in titles or people? Have we reflected on how our family history has shaped us? Do we have gratitude for what they have handed down, including our parish families?

Although it was tempting to stay, I am now back into the pace of ordinary life. However, I continue to ponder in gratitude what these encounters have taught me about interruptions, positivity, hospitality, and relationship. I couldn’t help but feel a little closer to Heaven the more the pace slowed and I allowed myself to encounter others. The good news? No airline fee is required to cultivate these habits in our lives. Where is God calling you to start today?

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Copyright 2026 Megan Cottam
Images: copyright 2026 Megan Cottam, all rights reserved.