Achieving the Right Level of Busy-ness

Amelia Bentrup talks about the value of work and finding the right level of busy-ness in a culture that glorifies work.

“So, how have you been?”

“Good. Busy. How about you?”

“Same here, Busy. When will it ever end?”

This seems to be a conversation that is repeated by mothers everywhere, in classrooms and in school pick-ups lines, at sports practices and dance classes and church. It seems we are all always so busy.

But what are we all so busy doing? I’m sure you could give me a list: work, laundry, cooking, driving places, caring for babies, tending to toddlers, homeschooling, helping with homework, washing dishes, cleaning, making doctor’s appointments, talking with teachers, answering emails, attending sports games and dance recitals and performances. The list goes on and on.

This time of year, life seems to be especially busy. There are Christmas parties and concerts, gifts to be made and bought and wrapped, cookies to be baked, decorating to be done, performances to be watched. And of course, as Catholics, we need to be preparing our heart for Jesus, so there are spiritual matters to attend to, prayers, confession, and spiritual and devotional reading.

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Corrie ten Boom is quoted in The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry as saying, “If the devil can’t make you sin, he’ll make you busy.” And yet, busy-ness is not bad. In fact, some level of busyness is vital to our well-being.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

Human work proceeds directly from persons created in the image of God and called to prolong the work of creation by subduing the earth, both with and for one another. Hence work is a duty: "If any one will not work, let him not eat." Work honors the Creator's gifts and the talents received from him. It can also be redemptive. By enduring the hardship of work in union with Jesus, the carpenter of Nazareth and the one crucified on Calvary, man collaborates in a certain fashion with the Son of God in his redemptive work. … The primordial value of labor stems from man himself, its author and its beneficiary. Work is for man, not man for work. (CCC 2427-28)

So our work and our busyness is not a bad thing. In fact, work is important, and with it, comes some level of busyness. But what level is right for us and for our families? How do we find the correct balance between work and rest, between doing and being?

Pray:

The first step is to pray. Pray about what duties you should take on, what activities your children should partake in, what and how much paid employment you wish to pursue. Take some time to visit a church or go to Adoration and spend some time praying about where the Lord is leading you to put your time and your energy. We have a limited amount of both, so pray how God wants you to spend it.

Discern:

Along with prayer, discern what is important to your family and what is not. All families need clean clothes and dishes and healthy food, but we don’t have to cook a super gourmet meal every night. If your family is just as happy with simpler, but still nutritious meals, then stick with those.

What chores do you feel are necessary and what are not? Is having super clean and dust-free baseboards really adding to the quality of your family’s life? Maybe it is, maybe it is not. The answer to that question will be different for everyone. Some may find it very worthwhile while others do not. If a chore is not a matter of hygiene and health and safety, maybe it can be let go?

Think about the activities your family is involved in. Discern if that travel sports team is really adding a lot of value to your child or would he/she be just as happy with a less intense, recreational sports league? Think about if a child needs to attend dance competitions or would they be just as happy and enjoy just as much merely taking classes?

Spend your time and energy on those activities and chores which are most meaningful to you and your family and add the most value to your lives and then be okay with dropping the rest. On that same note don’t be afraid to add in more activities and work that will bring meaning to your life and that of your family. It’s okay to pursue hobbies and side hustles and work that you enjoy and that brings you meaning.

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Understand:

We don’t all have the same energy levels and tolerance or even desire for work and busyness and that is okay. God made us all unique. Some people (like me) go crazy and feel at loose ends with a couple hours of free time. Others prefer a slower-paced life. The important thing is to understand that we all need to do some level of work and have some level of busyness, but that will not be the same for everyone. Again, this goes back to prayer and discernment to find the sweet spot for you and your family.

Also, that sweet spot will change as your life changes. The amount of work and busyness you can take on when you have a baby, toddler, preschooler, and school-aged child will look quite different than when those same children are 7, 8, 11, and 13 and even more different when they are 13, 15, 17, and 19. As our children grow and mature, oftentimes moms feel ready and able to take on more commitments outside the family. Again, this goes back to prayer and discernment.

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How do we find the correct balance between work and rest, between doing and being? #CatholicMom

May you achieve the right level of busyness this Advent season as you prepare your heart and mind for the coming of our Savior.

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