Lessons From the Hospital Bed

When Amelia Bentrup unexpectedly needed surgery, she learned the importance of slowing down and allowing other people to carry some of life’s burdens.

A few weeks ago, life did not go as planned. I mean, we all know that life never goes as planned, but that week it really, really did not go as planned. You see, I woke up in the wee hours of Sunday morning with severe abdominal pain. The pain did not get better, but rather worsened as time went on.

I tend to drag my feet when it comes to getting medical care, but eventually, I made the decision to go to the ER, so my family dropped me off at the hospital while they went on to Mass. I was discharged with a diagnosis of gallstones, but never really got better and ended up back at the hospital on Tuesday night with fever and pain. This time I was admitted and told my gallbladder needed to be removed as it was severely inflamed with a rather large gallstone blocking a duct.

While I was not severely sick, I ended up spending three nights in the hospital. This was due to a combination of a cautious surgeon and the fact that my surgery was bumped to the next day due to more emergent surgeries needing to be done. With the pain meds, I did not feel too bad, but yet I was tethered to a hospital bed by the IV drip and hospital rules.

In a strange juxtaposition of emotions, I felt both incredibly relaxed and incredibly frustrated. As a busy mom with five children, when do I ever get a chance to just sit around and do nothing? Never. Unless I am stuck in a hospital that is.

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So I had a lot of time to just sit and be. Time to pray, time to reflect and time to think. Granted, I had my laptop with me, so plenty of entertainment and even some work, and I spent a good deal of time managing schedules at home, with the help of amazing friends, making sure my kids got all the places they needed to be.

Yes, I still was able to spend a lot of time just being. Just sitting and thinking and praying because I wasn’t able to do much else. It was also a huge lesson in patience, something I sorely needed. So much of being in the hospital is waiting: waiting for doctors to come in, waiting to be discharged, waiting to learn when my surgery would actually take place. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Yet, despite all the waiting, I felt strangely relaxed. Waiting is much easier when I don’t have a million thoughts running through my head of all the things I need to be doing. During my hospital stay and subsequent recovery, there were things I could not do. To be honest, it was actually very good for my family that they had to step up a bit and help out a bit more. Sometimes I think God gives me these times of being incapacitated so my family learns to do a bit more themselves.

I really don’t have to do everything myself. It is okay to allow others to help out. In fact, it is good to allow others to help me. My suffering can not only save me, but also help to save others. In our society, we are so concerned with not being a burden on others that I think we often forget that maybe just what that other person needs is a burden to carry.

Bear one another’s burdens, and so you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

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My suffering isn’t just about me and sanctifying me; it also may sanctify others as they help bear my burdens. #CatholicMom

While sometimes we are the one doing the bearing of another’s burdens, sometimes we are the one with the burden. It is hard being the one doing the burdening on others. Yet sometimes God allows it because someone else needs a bit of sanctifying. My suffering isn’t just about me and sanctifying me; it also may sanctify others as they help bear my burdens.

While no one ever wants to be in a hospital or undergo surgery, during that time I learned a lot about patience and about allowing others to bear my burdens. Those few days of being tethered to the hospital bed gave me a chance to relax, reflect, pray, and listen to God. It gave others a chance to practice Galatians 6:2. It was another reminder that out of the ashes of our suffering, God brings redemption.

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