Am I Doing This Right?

Lorelei Savaryn considers the ways she fosters the future faith of her children. 

My husband and I are friends with several couples whose children are grown. These are people of deep faith, people who taught that faith to their children. Among those families, some have children who continue to practice and believe, and others have children who are questioning and wandering, or who have launched themselves in a direction far away from the foundation they began with. I find myself leaning in when we talk, when they share their stories, trying to pick up on what happened, what went right, or what went wrong.  

I look at our little family as our kids sit beside us in Mass, and sometimes wonder and worry if we are doing things right. Are we laying a foundation of faith for them that they will want to stay in once they’re grown? 

The path to faith is not always easy

For me, the path to faith has not always been linear, or easy. I grew up as an Evangelical in the 1990s and found my way to many different Christian denominations over time. I spent part of my 20s living secretly as an agnostic, too scared to tell my church community that I didn’t think I believed it anymore. In 2016, I was surprised as anyone to find myself standing in front of St. Paul’s Cathedral in Minnesota, being confirmed Catholic.   

I have found such peace in this practice, in these beliefs, in the relationship with God that has deepened and grown since my Confirmation. I am living better as a Catholic than I ever was before. I want my kids to have these things too, for their whole lives here on earth and beyond.  

But the thing is, I also must try to come to terms with the fact that there isn’t some hidden recipe lurking in the corners of those stories we hear from our friends. There isn’t one set path that is going to guarantee that our children, who have total free will of their own, to choose God.   

And that’s such an incredibly difficult pill to swallow.   

But, also, we are not without hope.  

What can we do to encourage our children's faith?

To start, there are some things that we can do. When one of my kids rests their head on my shoulder during Mass or holds my hand, I understand that Mass as a family is a time for them where we bond as a family, and a part of our family rhythm that brings them comfort. I can continue to be a part of making it so.   

My husband and I can continue to live out our vocation in a way that is authentic to the faith and to the way that God made us, so they can understand that God can and will connect with them and their unique talents and gifts.   

We can encourage their questions, and talk, and make sure they know that there are rich, deep answers to be found.   

We can cultivate deep peace in our home, in our lives, and in our relationships with others, no matter the season, so they will have lived the truth that our Catholic faith is a solid rock to stand on in a world that is ever shifting around us, and that suffering can be redemptive.  

And, most of all, we can pray. For them, for their faith today and their faith tomorrow. And for God’s will to be done in their lives. 

Let go ... and trust God

Then, after that, I think it’s best for us to let go and trust. Trust that the God who claimed them for His own has been with them and will be with them in the days to come. That the God who handled my doubts and questions can also handle theirs.   

It is likely easier said than done, and easier to practice perhaps when they are still little and living under my roof. But we can also pray for God to help us to trust Him with these precious souls, even if the what-ifs and worries try to crowd in.  

God is so patient, and He loves them so much. They are in good hands. Keep faith. 

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2024 Lorelei Savaryn
Images: Canva