Being Good to Ourselves

After a knee injury, Rosemary Bogdan realizes the need for self-care and refreshment, and shares simple ways even the busiest of moms can find rest. 

I was at the grocery store picking up all the things for my son and his family’s visit. I usually love shopping for the foods they all like, taking into account the favorites of the grandkids. I do have chronic knee troubles, but the end of this trip was different from the norm. When I got home, for the first time ever, I asked my husband if he could bring in the groceries and put them away because I was in so much pain I needed to lie down. 

When I finally got the disturbing diagnosis of damaged meniscus, I felt relieved. Relieved because I knew what was wrong, but also relieved because I no longer had to feel guilty about lying down and asking others to do things for me. 

It’s OK to rest and ask for help 

That realization kind of struck me. If my body was insisting that I needed to be off my feet why feel guilty, even without a medical diagnosis? I think it’s a mom thing. We give and give and give. It’s in our DNA. It’s what makes us keep going for our children, even after we have hit the wall on exhaustion. It’s a good instinct that helps keep our children safe, nurtured, and alive.  

We do have to recognize as moms though, that sometimes self-care is mandatory. If you’re injured, if you’re sick, if you’ve reached your limit in any number of ways, even moms must address their own needs. The pitcher of our love needs to be refilled. You can’t pour from an empty pitcher. 

Don’t let the pitcher get empty 

What happens when the pitcher is empty? We get impatient. We are more easily irritated. Our anger has a short fuse. If we leave it empty for way too long. moms can experience anxiety or depression. No one benefits from Mom’s self-neglect. Not the mom. Not her family. 

So how can we make sure we are taking care of ourselves? First, we have to pay attention to our bodies, our minds, and our own needs. 

If I need to go to Confession, I must make the time to do it. If I need the grace of the Eucharist (and who doesn’t), I must get to Mass. Bring the little kids if that’s the only way. If anyone raises eyebrows because they’re making noise or wiggling, shame on those people. Jesus made it quite clear that He likes children being brought to Him. 

If you’ve let yourself get spread too thin there are things you can do: Call a trusted friend and talk about it. Set up a date for coffee or lunch, without the kids. Tell your husband you need to go out and ask him to make sure it happens. 

In any number of ways, we can be good to ourselves. I remember someone once telling me she felt guilty about frequently buying her favorite coffee drink at a drive-through. I said, “You know what? It’s a lot cheaper than therapy.” She smiled and agreed. We must be good to ourselves, whatever that looks like.  

We can buy ourselves flowers. We can buy something else that’s a treat. I love to garden. When the weather is nice, if I’m feeling spent, I can buy myself a new plant. Maybe you have some other creative outlet that lifts your spirits. Work on that or buy yourself something that contributes to it. 

If the budget is tight try lying on the couch and playing your favorite music. Not the kids’ or your husband’s favorite music. Your favorite music. If you can’t possibly lie down, play the music anyway. Music can really speak to the soul. 

If you’re exhausted, take a nap if you can. Your health and well-being are more important than that one task you wanted to get to. If you’re injured, for heaven’s sake’s, lie down. (This is a note to self.) 

The Lord wants us refreshed 

That pitcher needs to be refilled. It’s important, not just for us. It’s important for the whole family. Let’s remember Psalm 23:

The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack.
In green pastures he makes me lie down; to still waters he leads me;
he restores my soul. (Psalm 23:1-3a)

The Lord wants to refresh us. It’s Scriptural! Let’s be good to ourselves. It’s what the Good Shepherd wants for us. And he knows what’s best. Blessed be God. 

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2024 Rosemary Bogdan
Images: Canva