Blinded by Brokenness

Holly Dodd shares a reminder that even the most faithful disciples can find it hard to see Jesus when their hearts are broken.

In the Gospel stories proclaimed between Easter and Pentecost, we hear of Jesus appearing to his followers — who are often slow to recognize Him. How can this be, that someone so beloved has become almost unrecognizable?  

Disheartened at the Tomb  

Mary Magdalene followed Jesus right to the foot of the Cross. She stood, with his mother and the beloved disciple, as He took His last breath. She must have been so confused at what was happening — faithful perhaps — but so confused. Imagine how she felt as she looked up and saw Jesus, her friend, her teacher, take His last breath; imagine how that moment must have taken her breath as well. She must have felt deflated. Did she sleep at all that night? Was she numb inside? Was she nervous about her emotional capacity to prepare his body with the spices she carried as she walked to the tomb that morning?

Accepting His death and walking to the tomb, perhaps she was just beginning to embrace this new reality, but how absolutely crushed all over again she must have been to discover the tomb was now empty!  

She was defeated, broken, confused — so much so that she didn’t even recognize Jesus when she saw Him in the garden. How could she have even allowed herself to believe it was really Jesus at that point? Perhaps she saw a familiar curve in His smile but thought her eyes were playing tricks on her because she knew, she knew, that she had watched her friend die. She did not know it was truly Jesus, right in front of her, until He called her by name.  

Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni,” which means Teacher. (John 20:16) 

Defeated on the Road  

What about the companions on the road to Emmaus? Two companions trudged along down the road, and a stranger approached them. Do they see a glimmer in His eye that reminds them of their Lord? Perhaps, but it simply couldn’t be. Surely their eyes deceive. They tell Him the whole story: the good, the bad, the ugly. They are faithful disciples and they can tell this stranger the Good News. They know He is good, but they don’t see Him walking right beside them.   

And he said to them, “Oh, how foolish you are! How slow of heart to believe all that the prophets spoke!" (Luke 24:25) 

Perhaps their hearts were slow because they were guarding them. They may have gotten glimpses in this long walk of who this stranger was, but would they have dared to hope? Do you guard your heart when you feel betrayed and broken? Can you proclaim your faith and the goodness of God to others, because you know that He is good but, at the same time, protectively guard your own heart? The companions finally truly recognized Him in the breaking of the bread.   

Discouraged at the Sea of Galilee 

And then there is Peter. He’s supposed to be the rock, the leader, the “fisher of men,” but now Jesus has been crucified, and this whole new life he was living was shattered. He’s going back to fishing. The journey is messy. How often have you bravely taken one step forward in faith only to take two steps back? How often have you tried to embrace a new habit, only to be crushed and want to return to your comfort zone? Peter wanted to return to his comfort zone. He was defeated. But like Mary Magdalene and the companions on the road to Emmaus, his deeply rooted faith prevailed. When he recognized the Lord, he ran, or rather swam, to Him with gusto.  

So the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord.” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he tucked in his garment, for he was lightly clad, and jumped into the sea. (John 21:7)

The disciples were faithful followers, but they were humans: broken and emotionally bruised by all that had happened. They had fallen in love with Jesus; they had said yes to something new and exciting and wonderful; they had vulnerably exposed their hearts. They had trusted, and they were crushed. When you are crushed, defeated, betrayed, and broken, it can be hard to truly see Jesus in your midst even as you proclaim the goodness of God to others. 

Mary Magdalene recognized Jesus in His calling of her name, the companions recognized Him in the breaking of the bread, and Simon Peter recognized Him only after he was identified by a beloved friend. What might break through your brokenness and disappointment to allow you to open your heart and your eyes and truly see the Lord beside you? 

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Copyright 2025 Holly Dodd
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