Complacency: It Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means

Karen Estep explains what complacency actually means and how we can combat it. 

What is Complacency? 

When a person hears the word complacent or complacency, often these words are equated with laziness. For example, I have heard this sentiment several times: “Complacency is running rampant in our society, and no one wants to work anymore!” However, this isn’t really what complacency means. The definition of complacency is “showing smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one's achievements.” I think for women in the age of social media, being complacent is a real problem.  

We women live in a “If you want it all, you can have it all” world. We don’t want anyone to see us as anything other than having it all together. We run around crazy thinking, “I’ve got this; so and so on Facebook is doing a, b, c, d. ... And if she can, I can” and we burn ourselves out by wondering what is so wrong with us.  

What is wrong is we are complacent; we aren’t getting our strength from anyone but ourselves. We are trying too hard to rely on ourselves and not reach out, when really, reaching out is exactly what we need to do. Reaching out is the hardest weight to pick up and yet when that weight is lifted and graces are flowing, watch out, world, and see our strength!  

We Are Not Made to Be Complacent 

We were not made to be complacent beings. We were made to be in a community. For most of history, humans lived in communities. Our forefathers and mothers shared responsibilities and relied on each other for everyday living. It is only in our recent time and society that relying on ourselves and immediate family has become the norm.  

3 Steps to Ending Our Complacency  

Now, how do we solve this as women? I’d like to offer a three-step process.  

Make God Your Center  

Start by attending Mass regularly because God is waiting with open arms, every day, every time you set foot into the sanctuary. Our first role as women is to be a beloved daughter of Christ. No matter how many other roles you have, your first and foremost role is “Beloved Daughter of Christ.” Once He becomes your center and your source of strength, the rest falls more into place.  

Now, don’t be surprised when this becomes hard. When we put God as our center, our focus, our source of strength, the enemy comes in and likes to take that all away. The enemy will make you doubt, bring up old hurts, and challenge your self-worth, because the more you are in communion with God, the more you radiate God’s light and the more you radiate God’s light, the more people will notice your strength, beauty, and the light you are radiating from God. Think about the song, “This Little Light of Mine.” The enemy will want to squash all of this…  

Find Your Community  

The Cain song, “People Need People,” talks about how we can have everything, money, houses, nice things but if we don’t have a good, solid community of people, we have nothing. People need people to keep them on their journey. People need people when their own strength needs help. Women need other women; it’s how God created us. It’s how we are meant to be. Find your support system.  

Pray Daily  

Even if your prayers are simple and you feel like they are not enough, God hears them. I start every morning with a simple prayer: “Lord, let me be a light for my family, a light for my students, and a light for the world.” That’s it — and it helps prepare my heart for the day to come. God does not need grand prayers. God just wants your heart, and I like to think that’s where all of our prayers come from: our hearts.   

The Bible verse women often choose to aspire to comes from Proverbs: “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and laughs at the days to come” (Proverbs 31:25). To clothe ourselves in strength, we have to leave our complacency aside. We have to give up fully relying on ourselves. To laugh at the days to come, we need to put our strength in God and not be complacent in our faith walks. We have to use the tools that He has given us to become strong women of dignity, of strength, and of joy.  

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Copyright 2025 Karen Estep
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