Courtship of the Saints by Patrick O’Hearn

Cathi Kennedy reviews a new book about saintly couples and how God brought them together.

God began my path to the Catholic Church as a teenager, although I wasn’t aware of it then. He purposely put people in my way who planted seeds, who I learned from, and whose example I remember still today. Guiding me to my husband, a practicing Catholic, was the final arc in my faith journey. In Courtship of the Saints: How the Saints Met Their Spouses, Patrick O’Hearn writes about saintly couples and how God brought them together, sometimes for a short while and sometimes for a lifetime, and their relationship brought them and others closer to God. 

Courtship—a seemingly outdated concept—is emphasized as one of the most important aspects of a romantic relationship. “Courtship looks to the future—to eternity” (11). The most important question during a courtship is, does this person want to become a saint with me?   

Broadly defined as when a couple establishes a relationship to culminate in marriage, courtship is a step most modern couples skip. O’Hearn makes the case that this time in a couple’s relationship is vital to ensure alignment with the things that matter most: God, family, and living a life oriented toward heaven.  

In this well-researched book, O’Hearn documents royal couples like Saint Elizabeth of Hungary and Louis IV. Elizabeth was betrothed to Louis when she was four and he was eleven. In a time when marriages were arranged for political power, God still moved to make all things good. Elizabeth and Louis developed a great love for each other and lived a devout life together.   

Other marriages included in the book are some well-known marriages: 

• Boaz and Ruth 
• Saints. Joachim and Anne 
• Saints Joseph and Mary 
• Saints Louis and Zélie Martin (parents of Saint Thérèse of Liseux)  

And some lesser-known (at least to me): 

• Bernard and Ellen Casey (parents of Blessed Solanus Casey) 
• Blessed Franz and Franziska Jaggerstatter  
• Blessed Luigi and Blessed Maria Quattrochi 

The book also includes chapters on how to discern marriage, how to choose a spouse, and how to support singles. The last chapter comprises “saintly sayings” regarding holy relationships, including this one attributed to J.R.R. Tolkien:  

No man, however truly he loved his betrothed and bride as a young man, has lived faithful to her as a wife in mind and body without deliberate conscious exercise of the will, without self-denial. Too few are told that - even those brought up ‘in the Church.’ Those outside seem seldom to have heard it.  

Copyright 2023 Cathi Kennedy
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