Cracked Easter Eggs, Spilled Dye, and the Futility of Perfectionism

Coloring Easter eggs with children and contemplating the story of St. Mark helped Rosemary Bogdan learn a lesson about perfectionism.

Do you suffer from occasional perfectionism ("a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable," according to Merriam-Webster)? Normally I do not, as those who have been in my home can attest. But important family celebrations are the exception. I want to have all the right foods, all the family favorites, ample quantities (there must be leftovers), and the right variety. For Easter, there must be everyone’s favorite candy and the requisite Easter lily somewhere in the house, preferably blooming. It’s Easter, right?

But this Easter, on Holy Thursday afternoon, my daughter and I were in a car accident. We were fine, nothing that my chiropractor son-in-law couldn’t fix. However, I was without a car for the rest of the weekend and a little shaken up. I realized I would have to downsize my expectations for the Easter brunch. I gave myself permission to not make it perfect or even close. It was then that I realized perfectionism, even occasionally, is not from God. Sure, the primary motivation is love of my family. But is there not also an element of pride? I should be able to put on an awesome brunch because, you know, I can. Or, paradoxically, is there some sense of unworthiness? Do I have something to prove? The only true necessity is that the event and all the work involved be filled with love.

children dyeing eggs

The annual dyeing of Easter Eggs on Holy Saturday seemed to encapsulate the principle. There were the five grandchildren, all under seven. As the small hands gripped the eggs that surely felt weighted, inevitably the tiny fingers would slip, especially while the eggs were wet with dye. Nearly every dyed egg would drop lightly to the table or the floor, either from the fingers or the flimsy wire egg holder.

In the end they were all cracked, yet not a single child stopped smiling. They were delighted by the colors, the attention of the adults, and their cousins’ company. When the blue dye cup tipped completely and spilled all over the floor, no one cared. It was all about the children and the smiles on their faces. The eggs themselves didn’t matter. They’ll still make good egg salad. Acceptance of the imperfect, our weaknesses and inadequacies, and the welcoming of God’s love and endless mercy was an Easter lesson for me.

children dyeing eggs

Not everyone in the family made the brunch. As the adult children get married, attached, and have other responsibilities and obligations, events where the entire family is present become increasingly rare. I’ve come to accept this situation as it is. Were some of the family there some of the time? Thanks be to God. Was there a brief time when I had the maternal joy of having everyone there? Those times are special gifts. Snap the picture. We are all much happier and more at peace when focusing not on the shortcomings or absences at an event but on the specific blessings from God.

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We are all much happier and more at peace when focusing not on the shortcomings or absences at an event but on the specific blessings from God. #catholicmom

Only God is perfect. St. Mark whose feast we celebrate today, may have seemed an unlikely candidate to be the great evangelist. He was not an apostle but is believed to have known Jesus during His lifetime. Mark 14:52-53 is widely thought to be the evangelist’s reference to himself:

Now a young man followed him wearing nothing but a linen cloth about his body. They seized him, but he left the cloth behind and ran off naked.

Whatever is the true reason for Mark’s following the mob, he surely had a devotion to Jesus. His departure from the Garden of Gethsemane naked was probably not the most dignified response he could have imagined for himself at the brink of Christ’s passion. And yet it is included in his Gospel.

Mark had traveled with Paul and Barnabas but, according to Paul, Mark had deserted them at Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work.

So sharp was their disagreement that they separated. Barnabas took Mark and sailed to Cyprus.” (Acts 15: 38-39)

We do not know what prompted Mark to return home without Paul and Barnabas. Clearly, Paul held it against him and did not trust him for some time afterward. Later they reconciled.

Grandes_Heures_Anne_de_Bretagne_Saint_Marc

Father Hugh Barbour speaks at length about St. Mark in his 2021 Palm Sunday homily:

What is true of Mark is also true of each one of us… Not a moment of a day or night, not an instant of sleeping or waking is not contained in the Redeemer’s plan for our happiness and holiness. It may seem a bit mundane or a bit random, but he knows and wills the innumerable paths that connect our ways with his. Then we will trust in him and not fear to follow him all the way to the end. (Catholic.com, "The Young Man Who Ran Off")

Indeed, the Lord has planned the smallest of details in our lives. The path may not be clear. It may even seem crooked. We may not see all the connections, but He sees and guides us every step of the way.

May we always live with the knowledge and faith that God is guiding and teaching us in every moment. He is there, pointing out truth, showing us how to love and how to serve both Him and everyone around us.

Are you encouraged by the example of St. Mark, not an Apostle and one considered a deserter by St. Paul, who nevertheless was used by God and became a great evangelist?