--- title: Dawn with a Heavy Heart description: Louisa Ikena explores grief and loss alongside prayer with Psalm 139. image: https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/20241212%20LIkena%201.png --- [![catholic-mom-logo-v2](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/images/catholic-mom-logo-v2.svg "catholic-mom-logo-v2")](https://www.catholicmom.com/) [![facebook](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-facebook.svg)](http://www.facebook.com/CatholicMomCommunity) [![twitter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-twitter.svg)](http://twitter.com/CatholicMomCom) [![instagram](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-instagram.svg)](http://instagram.com/catholicmomcommunity) [![youtube](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-youtube.svg)](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuUqHCVPDzyMgSMaMZxxug?view_as=subscriber) [![search-icon](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/search-icon.svg)](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/dawn-with-a-heavy-heart#) [FAITH](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/tag/faith) # Dawn with a Heavy Heart Dec 12, 2024 10:00:00 AM  |  by [Louisa Ann Irene Ikena](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/louisa-ann-irene-ikena) ![featured image](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/20241212%20LIkena%201.png) *Louisa Ikena explores grief and loss alongside prayer with Psalm 139.* --- The soft pitter-patter of rain is falling outside. Thankful for shelter. Thankful for warmth.  The dark night is beginning to soften in dawn, at least to the exterior. The interior is harder to define, harder to pin down at this moment in time.    ## When the promise doesn't come as we expect it It sounds great — let me describe a brilliant sunrise showing the promise of a new day. But what about if that promise is elusive and delayed in coming and, worst of all, mundane? I know objectively of the extraordinary beauty of Creation. I acknowledge each day as a gift. Yet that is my head taking over. I have heard that there is a very great distance to journey from the head to the heart. What is a new dawn of a new day to a heavy heart? What if it is hard to get through a day due to heaviness and loss and grief? As the sky lightens brighter and brighter, why doesn’t my heart lighten?  There are no quick fixes. No sudden cures to be found. The mere thought of fixes and cures repulses me. I have desired to live life to the fullest. Yet that means accepting the fullest grief alongside the fullest joy. And what if that grief is a complicated grief, full of many, many different feelings? There is nothing left to do but to feel my feelings. This is a time to be what I call “really real.”  I lift my mind and my heart up to God. Rudimentary attempts at prayer still count. I lift it all up to You, no matter what the weight of my heart.    ![null](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/20241212%20LIkena%203.png?width=1080&height=1080&name=20241212%20LIkena%203.png)   ## God’s Word remains a constancy in this world of change.  Lord, you have probed me, you know me:  you know when I sit and stand;   you understand my thoughts from afar.  You sift through my travels and my rest;  with all my ways you are familiar.  Even before a word is on my tongue,  Lord, you know it all.  Behind and before you encircle me  and rest your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,  far too lofty for me to reach.  Where can I go from your spirit?  From your presence, where can I flee?  If I ascend to the heavens, you are there;  if I lie down in Sheol, there you are.  If I take the wings of dawn  and dwell beyond the sea,  Even there your hand guides me,  your right hand holds me fast. (Psalm 139:1-10, NABRE)    ![null](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/20241212%20LIkena%202.png?width=1080&height=1080&name=20241212%20LIkena%202.png)   I come before You, Lord. Your presence is everywhere. It is my awareness of Your presence that waxes and wanes. You know every bit of me. This moment is a new moment. Your dawn is here, ready or not. Continue to guide me and hold me, Lord. Please accept this prayer, even and especially with a heavy heart.    Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles. --- Copyright 2024 Louisa Ann Irene Ikena Images: Canva ### Share this article [![Share on Facebook](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/facebook-24x24.png)](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fdawn-with-a-heavy-heart%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dfacebook) [![Share on Twitter](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/twitter-24x24.png)](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?original_referer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fdawn-with-a-heavy-heart%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fdawn-with-a-heavy-heart%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&source=tweetbutton&text=Dawn%20with%20a%20Heavy%20Heart) [![Share on Email](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/email-24x24.png)](mailto:?subject=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fdawn-with-a-heavy-heart%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail%20&body=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fdawn-with-a-heavy-heart%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail) ** #### About the Author ![Louisa Ann Irene Ikena](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/Louisa%20Ann%20Irene%20Ikena%20-%20Louisa%20Ikena.jpg) ### [Louisa Ann Irene Ikena](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/louisa-ann-irene-ikena) A member of the Blessed Trinity Missionary Institute, a secular institute for lay missionaries, Louisa Ann Irene Ikena, BTMI aims to give glory to the Triune God. Although not a mother in the traditional sense, she considers herself a good parent to her inner child. A contributing writer with Catholic Mom since May 2022, Louisa works in education. ## Related Blog Articles [ Let the Peace of Christ Control Your Hearts Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/let-the-peace-of-christ-control-your-hearts) [ You Are SO Meant to Be Here Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/you-are-so-meant-to-be-here) [ Prosper the Work of Our Hands Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/prosper-the-work-of-our-hands) ## Comments ## Donate now [![Support Catholic Mom](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/275132/10016573-1c5c-4aa5-baba-c2ac91fe7545.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/275132/10016573-1c5c-4aa5-baba-c2ac91fe7545) [![CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c (002)](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c%20(002).png?width=1806&height=731&name=CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c%20(002).png "CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c (002)")](https://www.catholicmom.com/) ##### Subscribe to Catholic Momcast on iTunes or Spotify [![itunes-logo-black](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/logos/itunes-logo-black.svg)](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/catholic-momcast/id1362352357)[![spotify-logo-black](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/logos/spotify-logo-black.svg)](https://open.spotify.com/show/15CoipHL7z61IDcYErV0b8?si=hqaQJSxDQgq7S1hxCwsoxQ) ##### CatholicMom on Social Networks [![facebook](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-facebook.svg)](http://www.facebook.com/CatholicMomCommunity) [![twitter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-twitter.svg)](http://twitter.com/CatholicMomCom) [![instagram](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-instagram.svg)](http://instagram.com/catholicmomcommunity) [![youtube](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-youtube.svg)](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuUqHCVPDzyMgSMaMZxxug?view_as=subscriber) ##### About Catholic Mom [Who We Are](https://www.catholicmom.com/about-us) [Contact Us](https://www.catholicmom.com/contact) [Support CatholicMom.com](https://www.catholicmom.com/support-us)   ##### Associated Links [Holy Cross Family Ministries](https://www.hcfm.org/) [Family Rosary](https://www.familyrosary.org/) [Family Theater Productions](https://www.familytheater.org/) [Congregation of the Holy Cross](https://www.holycrossusa.org/) [Father Patrick Peyton, C.S.C.](https://www.fatherpeyton.org/) [The Peyton Institute for Domestic Church Life](https://www.peytonfamilyinstitute.org/) ### **Stay connected!** Don’t miss a thing! 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