Does Your Family Need a Retreat?

Tami Kiser recommends a retreat for the whole family to offer an opportunity for relaxation and reconnection with God and each other.

When you hear the word retreat, you probably think: solitude, monastery, deep prayer, and peace. These are all great components of a retreat that you may have attended or have envisioned yourself participating in some day. It hardly lines up with the word family, which often brings to mind loud noises, constant motion, and mild chaos. But believe it or not, a family retreat is not only possible, but could be exactly what your family needs.  

Just as a retreat by yourself is a great way to relax, reconnect with God, and renew your vision for your life, a retreat with your family can do the same things.  

One of our first family retreats just fell into place at a time when we needed it most. It wasn’t a planned family retreat, and I didn’t even call it that, but what transpired was definitely a retreat:  a powerful spiritual experience that healed and bonded our family. We had lost our baby during the 5th month of pregnancy. This was totally unexpected. And since the baby was pretty well developed by this time in the pregnancy, we had to go through labor, delivery, and a small funeral for this tiny child.  

As I was physically and emotionally healing, I just felt called to get away. It was suggested that maybe I needed a retreat, but I couldn’t bear the thought of being away from not only my husband, but also my other children. When you lose one, you realize how precious the lives of the others are, and you just want to be close to them. Thus, we went on a family retreat in the middle of March.  

It was just an Airbnb cabin in the mountains of North Carolina, a couple of hours away. It had a pool table and a hot tub, which occupied the kids who were ages 5 to 15. We didn’t watch TV or spend time on our phones, but instead played games, did some hikes, and just hung out together. For our spiritual time, we simply prayed a Rosary and talked about the death of the baby. As I was resting and recovering, I had time to journal, pray, and do some spiritual reading. I also made time to talk to each of the children individually to see how they were doing. It was the perfect family retreat. 

Following that retreat which happened over a decade ago, my husband and I have taken the family on many other retreats, sometimes disguised as family vacations. Why not? I believe a good family vacation should definitely have many of the same characteristics of a family retreat. We try to pray the Rosary—maybe around the campfire, or attend daily Mass together at the cathedral in the city, or simply spend time doing activities that are conducive to conversations, such as hiking or paddling.  

Now that almost all our children are grown and gone out of the house, we still do family retreats. Our family is more than 30 in number now, and we treasure the time we spend together like this. In fact, I’m actually in the business of family retreats, not only for my own children and their families, but also for other families. My husband and I purchased a retreat center near to those same mountains where we spent that first family retreat. We host retreats for parishes, groups, and individuals, but some of our favorites are the ones we host for families.  

This upcoming week, we have a family who has come here now for their third year. The patriarch, Grandpa, of this family hosts his 6 grown children and their families. This group of almost 35 spends the weekend hiking to waterfalls, attending Mass together, playing games, doing a service project for our retreat center, sharing meals together, and usually hosting a big evening event like a dance or talent show. Grandpa says that he loves giving the moms a break by doing all the planning and letting the retreat center do all the cooking.  

Last spring, a young family with two children came on retreat so that the dad could fish and hang out with the boys. As a family, they stayed in one of our small houses. I saw them make a couple of visits to our small Blessed Sacrament Chapel as a family. They went in, stayed for about five minutes, and left. The mom said in an email after they left that it was just what they needed: time away to unplug and reconnect. 

What’s needed for a family retreat?  

You may think the most crucial ingredient is prayer. Setting the stage and atmosphere for prayer can be equally necessary, because without that, prayer can fall flat. And though this will look different for all families, it will always have these same elements: time, time, and time. We all need time to reconnect and get to know one another again. For some it may mean a bowl of popcorn on a porch swing, or a game of catch, a hike, baking a batch of cookies, or taking a long car ride. After this connection is established, there can be fruitful conversations and family prayer.  

For meaningful family retreats, we host weeklong family Catholic summer camps at our retreat center over the summer. And yes, this is a plug! It’s a chance for families to come away on retreat with other families. It seems to be the best combo of vacation and retreat as families spend intentional time with their own individual families, are encouraged and have fun with other Catholic families, and have opportunities for spiritual growth like Mass, confession, and classes.  

Please take a look at our website and listen to the witness of other families who have experienced this life-changing time together and consider whether your family could use a retreat.  

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Copyright 2024 Tami Kiser
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