Embracing Faith and Family: Life in a Large Catholic Household

Emily Jaminet discusses the joys and challenges she has experienced in 25 years of raising her large Catholic family.

Having a large Catholic family is an opportunity to experience life in the fast lane, where you often have your toes in many stages of life, and the need to prioritize has never been more important. 

My mom once said, "I think the trick to a big family is to know that you can experience the highs and lows of life almost within the same day or even the same moment." For example, one child can be thriving and excelling while another is navigating a difficult season of life and needs a lot of emotional and spiritual support. 

Embracing life's joys, sorrows, and challenges with virtue, peace, and faith is the secret to embracing this unique calling from the Lord to have a large Catholic family and allowing the Lord to be present in all moments — good and bad. 

Adjust, readjust, and rely on Jesus 

"Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

What does rest look like for you? Could this rest also result in not embracing the anxiety and stress of the world? What if we could ditch the stress of comparing ourselves to others or powering down our phones for the day? The most important lesson I have learned in the last 25 years is that you can't do everything and keep the same pace as smaller families. Your family is “different,” and that is okay — embrace it.

When we moms start to feel overwhelmed or anxious, we need to pause and pray, share what is going on with our spouse, and then move forward with an action plan. I have found that when I take small steps forward like adjusting our family schedules, opening my heart to my husband, and coming up with ways to address the challenges pressing against the family life gets easier.  

Sometimes readjusting might just begin with our own schedules as moms. Several years ago, I decided to drop out of an evening Bible study I liked because it was causing a significant hiccup in the family routine mid-week. The kids were not getting the homework done, and they also needed one more driver in the evenings to get to and from sports and events.

I knew this was a small sacrifice for a season in my life that would make a big difference in the overall culture of my family. I found other ways to connect with moms instead of in the evening during the week. When we pause and ask the Lord to help us adjust, readjust, or change our schedule that is best for our family, He will! I recommend bringing this all to prayer!  

Ask others to collaborate and help 

Just this past weekend, I assisted with one of my best friend's son's wedding rehearsal dinner. One of my college roommates and I made the desserts and appetizers for this beautiful gathering of more than 65 people and helped to serve and clean up the event. What made me do this? Someone helped me with my son's rehearsal dinner just a few months ago and I was blessed by not only their kindness but practical assistance.  This small gesture was fun and fulfilling for us and a great way to give back as it was an act of mercy and love.

We must learn to give to others outside of our family and learn to receive as well. If you can, say, "Yes, I can help you — and can you please help me?" Taking time to assist others is a priceless gift, far better than a material item. This circle of giving consists of giving and receiving — make sure you do both! 

Get organized 

"Mom, where is my uniform?" "Mom, do we have any bread?" "Where are all the matched socks?" Being the "Great Brain" of information, the only one who knows where everything is, can create additional stress in your family. Sharing information with others and letting them know the schedule through a family calendar, whiteboard, and weekly meetings and gatherings can improve our relationships and reduce stress in the house. 

I have learned the hard way that it is best not to leave all the tasks for the weekend. When I take time every day to do the laundry, basic cleaning, and small tasks to stay organized, it reduces the stress in our home. Maybe a dear friend or family member could help you get the family back on track if you are feeling out of control. 

Save, store, and so much more 

Many magazine articles advocate cleaning out and pitching old items. I want to share a few words about saving and storing. This takes much more work and effort and needs to be organized. It is easier in many ways to pitch and purge with the understanding that you will just buy new ones later. However, big families can quickly pay a high price for this practice. I can think of the items I have tossed from one move to the next and now wish I didn't make that quick, spontaneous decision to get rid of family treasures, basic necessities, or unique items like the toy box my husband made.

I have now decided to ask myself some key questions: Is this important? Do I need it, or does someone else need this? Would it hurt to save it for the next child? Will it be in style, or is it timeless? If I donate it, who can I "bless," or can I find a Christian charity that could help others in need? 

His Heart: the source of your love for your family

Finally, allow the Sacred Heart of Jesus to be the source of how you love your family. Jesus is offering His Heart to be our refuge and our strength. When we plunge our hearts and the needs of our family into His Heart, we can better accept the outcomes of the day and areas in which we fall short in the eyes of this world. Jesus desires us to exchange "Love for Love." So, no matter if you are having a difficult moment or feel on top of the world, allowing Jesus' heart to be the flame of love that fuels all that we do. 

Motherhood has unique challenges, and often, mothers of many children can feel like their issues just doubled or tripled. So, the next time this happens, make sure to pause, pray, and set up some systems and ways to better cope with the needs of your family. As mothers we set the standard for the family and the most important task we can do is allow peace, love, joy and even order to fill our house so that it runs smoothly. When it doesn’t, learn to ask the Lord for more graces, receive the Sacraments, and start again. Never give up on striving in this area of your life.  

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Copyright 2024 Emily Jaminet
Images: (center) copyright 2024 Emily Jaminet, all rights reserved; all others Canva