Embracing This New Life

Suzanne Beck shares a story of the power of prayer.

The hotel room reeled as I hung up the call, stunned and crying uncontrollably. The intensity of the week spent in the class for my master’s seem pale in comparison to this news. My husband of 32 years had decided that, in my weeks’ absence, the marriage was over, and he had moved out.

During the next couple of days as I headed home, things were all a blur. Questions came one after another. Where was God in all this? How could I ever be divorced? Hadn’t I had done everything I possibly could to save my marriage? What would I do alone? How would I manage financially? Emotionally? I was overwhelmed with sadness and confusion.

I had played the "good wife" for years, trying to keep him happy and not rock the boat—keeping the house ultra-clean; keeping the kids were well behaved; making a good dinner every night; clipping coupons to stretch the money—all what I thought were the right things. But there still seemed to always be issues between us. We had gone to many counselors over the years, but when it was time to look at his role in the relationship, we had to move on to the next counselor.

At one point, he decided that we should switch from our evangelical church to Catholicism; I was skeptical but agreed because our kids needed to see their dad going to church. Raised in an evangelical pastor’s home, I had been to church several times a week, a Christian most of my life, but all I knew at the time about Catholics was that they "weren’t Christians!" Quickly realizing that part of my upbringing had been errant, I plunged myself into Catholicism, re-learning everything, this time with "Catholic glasses" on, while serving as cantor, Bible study leader, and on the parish council.

Our sons soon left home for college, and I continued learning by enrolling in the master’s Distance Ed program at Augustine Institute. (This decision made my husband livid: if I was going to get a masters, I should at least get it in something where I could eventually make some money!)

So, in many ways, the phone call I received was not a complete surprise. The “D” word (divorce) had been mentioned a couple of times in passing over those years, but never seriously and we thought (or maybe it was just me who thought) that we could always work things out.

Arriving home to an empty house was hard, but the next morning, I picked up The Word Among Us to read the Scripture and message of the day. The prayer at the bottom of the page was this:

Holy Spirit, you know how much I hate change. Please help me to embrace this new life that you are offering me. (July 23, 2010)

(Even now, as I type those words, the miracle of God’s grace overwhelms me!) I think I gasped out loud. "What??? How can this be happening? How in the world can divorce be in Your plan? How can I get through this? Can I be divorced and still be a Christian? What am I supposed to do next?"

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Over the next several months, I stopped all my parish activities to focus on healing and moving forward; God was especially close to me, providing so many "mini" miracles. One of these was finding a tiny, affordable house in an adjacent town on the same street as my mother (with enough money left over to re-do the bathrooms!). Another miracle was the process of seeking a nullity of my marriage with the Church. I had no plans to remarry, but I felt if the Church said that marriage wasn’t a real marriage, it would be a huge relief to me. Because of the circumstances, the annulment was, miraculously, granted quickly and without difficulty.

As time passed and I was beginning to heal, I asked God to please show me where I could start serving Him again. I remember saying, “Oh, and if it could be creative, that would be awesome.” Miraculously came the introduction to Dress A Girl Around the World, a non-denominational group that uses creative skills to make simple dresses for impoverished girls in third world countries. I knew that I could sew, but I am much better at organizing and getting people to do things, so I started a local chapter of DAG. We are now in our 11th year and our group of over 300 women has made and sent over 50,000 dresses to little girls.

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I continue, even years later, to absolutely marvel at His faithfulness during that time of crisis. #CatholicMom

The best miracle, however, came on July 22, 2011, exactly one year after reading the "this new life" prayer. I flew to my small-town Midwest 35th high school reunion, where God arranged me to reconnect with Eric, a dear friend who I have known since 6th grade. His wife had left him AND their four children several years earlier, and he had remained single to get them safely to adulthood. The youngest had moved out just prior to the reunion and he wasn’t sure what his next moves were to be. We almost instantly fell in love that evening and by the end of the weekend, we know that God had amazing plans for us.

Over the next several months, Eric converted to Catholicism, sold everything, moved to California, and was received into the Church that next Easter. We married in the Church the very next Saturday and this past year celebrated 10 years of a wonderful marriage centered on Christ and his Church. Our life together (with six children and seven grandchildren between us) has been challenging, but amazing and a great adventure. I honestly didn’t know that marriage was supposed to be like this.

God DID have an amazing new life planned for me and He redeemed the "years that the locusts had eaten" (Joel 2:25). I continue, even years later, to absolutely marvel at His faithfulness during that time. I am grateful every day for His presence and the privilege of being Catholic.

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