
AnneMarie Miller ponders how we can share the joy of Christ with our children at the liturgy.
It's easy to grow overwhelmed by the distractions, wiggles, and whispers of young children at Mass, isn’t it? I think about the moments when my young children have struggled to practice reverent behavior at Mass, and it seems like all I would do was reprimand a child for most of the liturgy.
I wanted to help my kids learn how to be quiet and reverent, which isn’t a bad thing. Yet, over time, I started to wonder if placing all of my focus on a child’s shortcomings was truly beneficial. Was my prodding helping my child to fall deeper in love with God?
An encounter with God
After all, when we attend the liturgy, we are brought into an intimate encounter with God. God loves each of us more than we can imagine, and we have an amazing opportunity to pray and offer sacrifice and praise to Him at Mass. We are all with Jesus, physically present in the Eucharist, even if we do not receive the Eucharist yet. Christ invites us all to come, even our small children, just as He did in Matthew’s Gospel:
“Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (Matthew 19:14)
I wonder what it was like for those children to be with Jesus in such a close, intimate moment. Did they experience awe and joy at this man who so readily welcomed them? Were they able to look past the disciples’ rebukes and simply enjoy being with Jesus?
This Scripture passage provides a good way for me to think about how my children experience the liturgy. When they encounter Christ at Mass, do they have a chance to enjoy this intimacy with God? Do they have moments to simply be in the presence of Jesus, or do I constantly criticize them for their mishaps?
Yes, we need to help our kids learn how to still their bodies and pray, instead of wrestling each other on the floor. Yes, we need to guide our children to actively participate in the prayers of the liturgy. However, I wonder if we also can encourage our children to truly enjoy this intimate encounter with Christ.
Enjoying the relationship
At some point in the past year or so, I started to tell my kids: “Thank you for praying with me at Mass today.” Regardless of how they had behaved, I knew that they — at some point, in their own ways — had, in fact, prayed. I also started telling my youngest children (often while they were throwing themselves on the floor): “Jesus must be so happy to have you here at Mass today.”
In the past, I’ve employed these phrases with an exception tacked onto the end. For example: “Thank you for praying with me at Mass, but you need to be more quiet and reverent next time.” At some point, though, I dropped this critique, and began addressing behavior either in the car or while at home later that day. When I started doing this, we became more focused on the beauty our relationship with God. Time spent at the liturgy was — and is — a joyful encounter with Christ.
Not only has this approach helped my children, but it’s helped me, as well. If I find my focus wandering, or I’m not as deeply immersed in prayer as I think I should be, it’s easy for me to think that I “failed” at Mass that day. However, I take what I share with my children and reflect it back to myself. Even if my prayer or focus is imperfect, is Jesus happy when I come to the liturgy? Can I, like my kids, focus on enjoying my time with God at Mass?
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Copyright 2024 AnneMarie Miller
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About the Author

AnneMarie Miller
A bibliophile, wife, mother of young children, and lover of the Liturgy, AnneMarie Miller enjoys exploring the manifold—and quirky—ways in which God speaks. She can often be found reading books to her kids, burrowing her toes in the red Oklahoma dirt, or sipping black coffee. Her reflections on Catholicism, literature, and hope can be found on her blog, Sacrifice of Love.
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