Every Day Should Be Valentine’s Day: Living Love as Catholic Spouses and Parents

Laura Vazquez Santos reflects on how small acts of respect, sacrifice, and tenderness teach children what real, Christ-centered love looks like.

February always arrives dressed in red and pink, with cupid’s arrow carrying heart-shaped chocolates and the gentle pressure to make one day in the year especially romantic. The world tells us that Valentine’s Day is the height of love and that flowers, dinner reservations, perfectly filtered photos, and grand gestures meant to sweep someone off their feet are the epitome of love. And while those gestures can be sweet and absolutely part of a healthy marriage, they are only the faintest echo of what Christian love is meant to look like.  

For Catholic spouses, Valentine’s Day is not a single calendar event. It is a vocation lived moment by moment, a daily choice. It is the quiet, unglamorous work of two people trying to lead each other to heaven. In our homes, in the chaos of raising children, and in the unpredictable rhythms of family life, we have the opportunity not only to celebrate our marriages but to model for our children what real love actually looks like.  

The Everyday Work of Love  

There’s a romantic glow to February 14th, but the real heart of marriage is found in the other 364 days. It lives in the ordinary moments of the baby waking up again at 3 AM, the empty gas tank someone else fills, the kitchen cleaned even though no one noticed, the hug offered after a difficult conversation, the decision to forgive, and the quiet prayer whispered for a spouse who is struggling.  

Marriage is a sacrament, which means grace flows through it, and while to us, this grace is invisible, it is still a constant gift given from the Lord. When we tend to the everyday acts of tenderness and responsibility, we aren’t merely “being nice,” we are participating in God’s love. The world may overlook these things, but heaven doesn’t.  

Think about how our children see love. They watch the way we speak to each other in the kitchen. They overhear how we resolve disagreements. They notice when we prioritize each other’s needs, support each other, and show each other respect. They learn that marriage is not built on one day of perfection but on many days of perseverance.  

When they see us love well in the small things, they begin to understand what Mother Teresa meant when she spoke of doing little things with great love. And since most of our lives are made up of little things, this is good news. 

A Home That Teaches Love  

If every day is meant to be a version of Valentine’s Day, rooted in love, sacrifice, and rejoicing in one another, then our homes become classrooms where the virtues of marriage are taught by witness rather than lecture.   

How do we do this? The answer is simpler than it sounds. We begin by speaking to our spouses with respect, especially when we are tired or frustrated. Children instinctively study those moments. When they see a mother gently correct instead of snap, or a father calmly discuss instead of yelling or shutting down, they learn what emotional maturity, emotional regulation, and sacrificial love look like. 

We honor each other’s dignity in front of our children. That might mean acknowledging Dad or Mom’s hard day at work and encouraging some quiet so they can take turns to breathe and ground themselves. It might also mean showing gratitude for Mom’s constant juggling of household tasks. It could look like choosing not to criticize each other in front of the kids or praying aloud for each other during family prayer time.  

We serve one another without keeping score. The culture of “50/50” is tempting because it sounds fair, but Catholic marriage is not necessarily always about fairness. It’s about giving all that we can to each other mutually and trusting God to refill what runs empty. Children who grow up seeing parents serve each other joyfully learn that marriage is not a transactional negotiation; rather, it is a gift which both spouses keep offering daily.   

We practice forgiveness. This might be the most important gift we give our children. No relationship is without moments of hurt or misunderstanding. But when our kids witness forgiveness spoken, embodied, and lived, they learn that love doesn’t crumble in the face of difficulty. Instead, it strengthens, humbles, and heals. And while forgiveness is often the hardest virtue to practice, it is the greatest testimony and witness to our faith that we can teach our children.  

A Catholic Valentine’s Day, Reimagined  

So then, practically speaking, what does Valentine’s Day look like for a Catholic family who is trying to make every day a celebration of love?  

It can still include flowers, heart-shaped pancakes, or handwritten cards if those things delight your spouse and kids. But the heart of the day shifts. Instead of “How can we make this day perfect?”, the question becomes, “How can we renew the love we live every day?”  

Some families mark the day with a special family meal, turning Valentine’s Day into a celebration of the whole household’s love—not just romantic love, but the love that binds every member. Others include prayer: a rosary for marriages, a blessing over the children, a moment of gratitude for the ways God has carried the family through challenges. Spouses might exchange small acts of service or recommitment, offering to take on a chore that the other dislikes, scheduling time for a long overdue date, or writing a letter not of flowery promises but of truthful, heartfelt appreciation.  

And for those in a difficult season, where financial strain, new babies, health concerns, or emotional exhaustion seem to have taken over, Valentine’s Day can become less about what we can give materially and more about what we can offer spiritually. Sometimes the most meaningful gift a spouse can give is patience, understanding, or the simple reassurance of: “I’m with you and I choose you.” 

Teaching Our Children Love that Points to Heaven  

Children will always encounter the world’s version of love (romantic, dramatic, and sometimes shallow).  But in our homes, we can give them something deeper. We can show them the beauty of a love that is rooted in Christ, strengthened by the Eucharist, and shaped by the virtues.  

We can help them see that love is not a feeling that comes and goes, but a stable, steady force that grows through prayer and commitment. We can help them understand that choosing a spouse is not about finding someone who makes life easy but someone who will walk beside them toward holiness.  

And through our imperfect but sincere example, they learn what to seek, what to value, and what to offer someday in their own vocations. 

 
Therefore, when our children see this love lived out in everyday life, they learn that holiness is not found only in church pews, but also at kitchen sinks, on late-night walks down dark hallways to soothe crying toddlers, and in the steady hands of two parents who keep choosing each other. 

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2026 Laura Vazquez Santos
Images: Canva