Finding Comfort in Dryness

Merridith Frediani shares how Mary provided comfort to her in a period of dryness in prayer. 

I know it’s not about the feelings. They are a bonus, a gift. I know this. But boy, when the dryness comes and the feelings go away, it’s hard.   

I experienced a period of dryness in prayer. Dryness is a natural part of the spiritual life. It’s an opportunity to forge on. As my father would say, “It separates the men from the boys” or, more biblically, the sheep from the goats. It is also a challenge.  

Dryness, when we feel like God is far away, happens to everyone pursuing a closer relationship with our Lord. Saint Teresa of Calcutta experienced years of it. The intellectual part of my faith told me not to worry; it will be okay. It likely won’t last forever, and I should keep to my prayer routine. I need to continue going to Adoration and Mass where I usually feel peace and comfort, despite feeling nothing.   

It’s a Relationship  

I am reminded that faith involves a relationship with the living God. We are invited into a bond with our heavenly Father that is real. Just like in any earthly friendship, there are ebbs and flows. The difference is that with our friends we are both human so the ebbing can come from either of us. With God, only one of us is human; the other one is perfect.   

During this time of dryness, we went to Italy. While tromping through beautiful churches I felt nothing. At Saint John Paul II’s tomb, while my friend wept beside me, I felt nothing. In front of the tabernacle where the Eucharistic miracle of Orvieto is kept, I felt nothing. In front of Saint Catherine of Siena’s head, nothing.   

While my brain knew this was okay, my heart was lonely. My head knew that Jesus was close, but I couldn’t feel it. I returned home wondering when it would end and how much of it was my fault. I kept persevering though because when I imagined abandoning prayer, I felt worse. 

Comforted by Mary  

It’s over now, and I credit our Blessed Mother May for her prayers and comfort. The beginning of the end came a couple of weeks ago with great consolation from her in prayer. I felt her presence in a beautiful, comforting way that I wasn’t expecting. I felt her motherly love wrapping me up. In the same way I comforted my own children, I felt Mary comforting me. It was a powerful feeling of being loved by my Mother. I knew all would be well and I should lean into her knowing she always points to Jesus. Her love and prayers are powerful.   

A week later I was talking to a friend and noticed her bracelet made of miraculous medals. I’ve worn a miraculous medal for years and desired a bracelet like hers, but didn’t want to buy some janky one from Amazon. When I asked her where she got it, she replied “Holy Hill” while she took it off and gave it to me. There was no point in arguing. We both knew this had to happen.   

When I called to thank her, she told me it was blessed by her pastor and that morning she felt she needed to wear it. She knew she needed to give it to me when I noticed it. I was touched by both the love extended to me by my friend and how Mary interceded. She was moved that she was able to be the one Jesus worked through. Most times we don’t know how we affect others; this time she knew. I’ve given away several miraculous medals when Mary instructed me to. This time I was blessed to be on the receiving end.  

Days later, while I prayed the Rosary with some friends, the tears came. Not big rolling ones, but the ones that let me know that He is with me in a real way. The dryness was over. It was not fun and sometimes frustrating, but our God is so brilliant. He knows what He’s doing. Another friend wisely said, “Weren’t you excited to see what’s coming?” when I told her about the dryness.   

The next time it happens — and I know it will — I hope I remember to be excited for what is coming, because Jesus never leaves us alone. He and His Mother are always with us along with our guardian angels, and the saints. We may not feel Him there, but we can trust He is. We have to, otherwise the times of dryness would be intolerable. 

Faith asks us to believe in what we cannot see or sometimes feel. There are times when we question, wonder, and even doubt and it helps to remember our beautiful Mother Mary who loves us as her own children and desires us to be close to her Son. Mary cared for me this October, a month dedicated to her, and I’m thankful.  

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Copyright 2025 Merridith Frediani
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