Giving Yourself the Permission God Already Gave You

Denise Jelinek explores why women wait for permission to rest, trust themselves, and say no — and how God already invites them into peace. 

Are You Waiting for Someone to Give You Permission? 

I wonder if you can relate to struggling with an underlying state of existence that greatly contributes to exhaustion, self-doubt, and overthinking. That state is waiting. 

Waiting for permission: permission to rest, to say “no,” to trust yourself. 

The permission many women are waiting for is from another human. They are unconsciously hoping someone will notice their silent pain and internal chaos and rescue them by giving permission, permission they don’t yet realize they can give themselves. 

I know this silent pain. I lived it for years. 

This kind of waiting is subtle. It often looks responsible, put together, or organized on the outside. But internally, it keeps women stuck in hesitation and self-doubt, unsure if they are allowed to rest or trust what they know deep down is best. 

My Story 

I didn’t even realize the suffering I experienced from pursuing another person’s permission, approval, and validation was optional. I believed it was necessary for me to feel safe and secure.  

Never did I consider that I could give myself permission to rest, to say “no,” or to trust my own decisions without another human’s validation. 

Over time, by God’s grace, He has mostly healed me of this distorted dependency on other people.  

Healing came as I learned that I could look to God instead of waiting to be affirmed by someone else. 

Waiting for Permission You Already Have 

Some women live as though someone else must authorize their choices. But what we’re often longing for is not approval from others. It is permission from ourselves, permission God has already given us through free will. 

When you’re waiting for someone else’s permission, you feel stuck. 

 A part of you knows what you need and want, but another part waits for validation. For me, that “waiting part” was frightened, conditioned by years of “shoulds” and internal rules I believed would keep me safe and “good enough.” 

Living this way feels like driving with the parking brake on. You expend energy, but you do not move forward. 

Your nervous system also stays on high alert. Your mind constantly scans for danger and how not to make a mistake. 

On the outside, you appear to have it all together. Internally, however, you are waiting to be corrected or criticized, silently wishing for permission and approval.  

Why We Wait for Permission from Other People 

This pattern is conditioned. 

As children, we rely on external permission from parents, teachers, and authorities to teach us the “right way.” That is healthy and necessary early on. As we mature emotionally, we are meant to become that authority within ourselves with a formed conscience. 

But when that transition doesn’t happen, or only partially happens, we continue to look outward for safety and worth. 

We wait to rest until it feels “earned.” 
We hesitate to speak honestly or state our needs. 
We overextend ourselves out of guilt and obligation and call it “service” or “sacrifice.” 

Distorted beliefs often reinforce this: that ambition means doing more, resting is laziness, and caring for your needs is selfish.  

These beliefs are not aligned with God. 

What is aligned with God is recognizing that the Holy Spirit lives within you.  

What is aligned with God is allowing His guidance to prompt you to what He wants and recognizing that is Him giving you permission. 

What Permission Feels Like 

True permission doesn’t feel chaotic or rushed. It feels slow and peaceful, like a deep exhale or sinking into a comfortable chair. 

Your body and breathing feel settled. Your soul feels connected.  

God is your God, and you feel safe with Him, regardless of another person’s opinion.  

Your concern shifts to what God desires for you. 

This shift brings healing. You feel peace and clarity.  

This is the healing power of permission. Giving yourself the permission you have always had often leads to clearer thinking, more energy, and a more peaceful existence.  

This is cooperation with grace.  

Living in God’s truth, rather than distorted beliefs, aligns our thoughts with His and helps us live the Gospel: “Take every thought captive in obedience to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). 

Giving yourself permission is agreeing with what God already wills for you: peace, freedom, love, and mercy. 

Permission Is a Practice 

Permission is not a switch. It is a skill. 

Skills are learned over time. You won’t be good at it at first, but with practice you will get better. 

Each time you grant permission and show your body that you are safe, new pathways in your brain form. Slowly, a new normal develops. 

And that is real freedom. 

Let’s practice. 

What do you wish someone would give you permission to do, or not do, today? 
Now give yourself that permission and see what unfolds. 

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Copyright 2026 Denise Jelinek
Images: Canva