Danielle Heckenkamp outlines nine ways to love the day-in, day-out life of motherhood.
The word motherhood may be used in a general fashion, but this beautiful word does not define only one type of person. The love of a motherhood is unique, not only to her personality, but to the souls of her little ones that God has entrusted to her care. As mothers, we often believe that our daily actions are not enough for ourselves, not enough for those around us, and not enough for the world. It is through a modern view that mothers have a place in the world, but no place within the home. How far these thoughts are from the truth!
The world portrays a superficial view of motherhood and so many of us fall into this trap. It becomes a daily battle: the world is screaming at us and saying that we aren’t doing enough. We should always want more. We need to be more efficient, more productive, make more money, but also to find “self-care.” Interesting combination, right? My goodness, how exhausting! It definitely takes strong women to stand up against those feelings of insufficiency.
Motherhood is a slow process. There is no quick result in raising children and fostering family life. Considering this idea, do we really desire to wish away the years, the joys, the sufferings, and the daily routine? Probably not. We have forgotten to find love in the daily norms, something past generations did not forget, but learned to accept and gift to their family. It is the daily change of life that helps us grow in love. Rather than constantly seeking the future, we will find more joy in this life living in the present, as did so many mothers from past generations.
How to Love the Daily Grind:
Take your hobby and gift it to your family.
This could be a love for baking, gardening quilting, reading, or even organizing. Make your hobby part of family life and something that you can all enjoy together or at least your family can also reap the benefits from.
Focus on the details when necessary, but don’t forget about the big picture.
Don’t worry about the future, especially, if there’s no imminent decision to be made. Motherhood is giving it all to those you love. It is a self-less vocation. We are to do our best with what we are given, but it’s too difficult to control everything.
Love what you have.
This is easier said than done. Old-fashion motherhood did not revolve solely around the children, but around the family unit. Love your life and learn to accept it. (My husband and I have five boys in a row—I’m still learning to accept that chaos.)
It is the mundane tasks that helps us grow.
This is not what many of us want to hear, but it is the daily dishes, the home-cooked meals, the freshly baked bread, the clean laundry, and the Sunday hikes that builds a joyful family life. Learning to accept the mundane tasks may take years, but this is something we can begin to love today. Eventually, these tasks will become more than just jobs and habits but acts of love for the family.
Mothers bring smiles and warmth.
Even when we are overwhelmed, it is through our smiles and hugs that children feel safe. In those overwhelming moments, don’t focus on the negative. Instead, cuddle on the couch with the kids. Read them a book or sit outside in the sun watching them play.
Mothers bring peace.
It isn’t necessary to always be playing board games or creating “lasting memories.” Just the presence of a mother brings stillness and quietude to the house. Find time each day to read, knit, do needlepoint, or paint. These are the moments that children remember fondly, and it gives us all a break to focus on our passions while being a good example to our children.
Mothers bring joy and creativity.
When it’s time to switch from quiet to play, turn on your favorite music and have a dance party. Take out a family recipe and bake with your children. This is a great way to focus your attention on something that doesn’t seem of great importance in the moment, but you will be teaching and creating memories of happiness in your children. This is the beauty of motherhood—teaching life-long skills.
Mothers bring life and completeness.
This isn’t always easy as we juggle housework, schoolwork, and possibly business work. While attending to these many responsibilities find time to fulfill yourself. If mothers are struggling, the entire family and the entire world is struggling. So, let’s make time for our passions. While folding the unending laundry, listen to an audiobook. While sending out emails, listen to your favorite music. Take a walk with your spouse. Cook a family favorite meal. Enjoy coffee in your garden.
Motherhood isn’t about perfection.
It is about giving love and compassion to those who are gifted into your life. Silence the pressures of motherhood that modern society pushes. Dig back into your family’s roots. Learn what works best for your family’s situation. There is no perfection on this earth—but that doesn’t mean we can’t attain perfect love.
Copyright 2023 Danielle Heckenkamp
About the Author
Danielle Heckenkamp is a stay at home mom and freelance writer who lives in Wisconsin with her husband and six children. Danielle writes about her daily experiences as a mom and love for her Catholic Faith. Danielle is the co-author of a nonfiction book about manners and common sense. You can step inside Danielle s daily life on Instagram.