Hard Doesn't Mean Wrong

Amelia Bentrup reflects on how following God’s will is often challenging, looking to Jesus and the saints for inspiration in getting through the hard times. 

Just because something is hard doesn’t mean it is wrong. Lately, I have been reminding myself of this daily. Life feels very hard lately. And even worse, it is a self-imposed hard. It’s not something I can just blame life or circumstances beyond my control on. No, rather this hard is the result of my husband’s and my discernment and the choices we made for our family involving major life changes. Choices that are turning out to be a lot harder and more costly to implement than we had previously expected. We are selling our home, moving to a new city, and putting our children in a new school, and I am going back to school to start a new career to which I feel called.  

I keep second-guessing our discernment and my prayers. Did we discern incorrectly? Maybe we aren’t doing God’s will at all? Maybe we aren’t supposed to make this major change for our family. Maybe we are supposed to stay in our current house and current town and I am supposed to keep homeschooling our children?  

We have good reasons for making these changes. We have spent many hours in prayer, discernment, and discussion. We feel this is what God is calling us to do. And yet, it isn’t easy. In fact, it is hard — really, really hard. And I keep coming back to the fact that hard doesn’t mean wrong. Just because things are hard right now doesn’t mean that we made the wrong choice or aren’t following God’s will.   

Finding Examples of Difficulties in Jesus’ Life   

I find myself reflecting on Jesus’s mission and calling. His public ministry and preaching was certainly not easy. Performing miracles, traveling around, preaching: I am guessing that was very, very hard. And certainly undergoing crucifixion and dying for our sins involved an unspeakable and unimaginable amount of suffering and difficulty.

I have to keep reminding myself that choosing to follow God’s will is not a guarantee that things will be easy. It is not a guarantee that everything will go smoothly and there will be no problems along the way. Jesus never said, follow me on the easy, wide, newly paved road.  

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 16:24) 

Looking to the Saints 

The saints also give a great example of how following Christ is not the easy path. How many beautiful martyrs does the Church give us? Brave men and women who gave up their lives for Christ give the perfect example of how following Christ and his calling for your life is not the easiest way. 

Mary’s fiat involved a great deal of suffering and pain, starting during her pregnancy, all the way through watching her son die the most horrific death possible. Saint Francis of Assisi gave up a rich lifestyle and material comforts to follow Christ. Saint Rita of Cascia lived through a challenging marriage and the death of her sons. Saint Frances Xavier Cabrini had to fight and battle to follow God’s will, eventually founding numerous hospitals, orphanages, and schools. And Saint Joan of Arc overcame enormous hurdles, difficulty, even imprisonment, to follow God’s will for her life and save France.  

I am sure all those saints must have second-guessed themselves and dealt with doubt and anxiety. Yet, they stayed close to God, pushed through the hard, and continued the path God lay on their hearts.  

As I go through my own difficulties and season of doubt, I find myself looking to the example of Jesus, Mary, and the saints — and praying to God to give me the strength to push through the difficulty and continue to follow His will for my life. 

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Copyright 2025 Amelia Bentrup
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