Healing the Grief of Loss in Personal Finances

Johanna Stamps tracks her own story of healing after financial loss and shares three steps toward getting through those difficult seasons.

Personal finance might be the loneliest place on the planet. My finances have been an isolating source of stress and pain for most of my adult life. It felt as if no one could understand my unique circumstances. I looked at my peers, seemingly doing so well, and I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why, God?”   

After a few years of steady financial growth, I was married and had made the leap to a new country to begin a life with the man I loved. A few months later, I was pregnant, in a failing marriage, and picking up once again to get onto solid ground. I suddenly found myself thousands of miles away from the retirement fund I had been growing, and I had to start over. Here I was, in my late 30s, a first-time mother, starting over — from scratch.    

I knew I couldn’t go back to where I had been: feeling isolated, alone, and constantly worried. I needed something else, something new. Being churched most of my life, I had heard the more frequently quoted Scripture verses about money:  

• God loves a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7b) 
• “You cannot serve God and mammon [money].” (Matthew 6:24b) 
• “Repay to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God.” (Mark 12:17)  

However, as I went on my own financial healing journey, I experienced a very different side of Jesus’ teaching. It was less about money management and more about trust and control. In my incessant worries, I had been claiming control for what I had, and in some cases, blaming others for what I didn’t have.   

Grieve  

Eventually, the only thing that got me out of my cycle of “what ifs” was to make time and space to grieve what had been lost — or what I never had. Jesus is so often found next to the brokenhearted in their moment of greatest need. When I found myself walking into grief, I also found myself walking closer with Christ.   

I sometimes think about the people who chose not to hear Jesus speak or watch Him heal the sick. Those were the people who chose to stay home. I imagined them saying something like, “I don’t have anything to heal. Why would I go and see Jesus?”   

I didn’t want to be one of those people any longer.  I didn’t want to deny the areas of healing that needed His touch. I needed to cry out and say big things like, “God, I’ve worked so hard, and what do I have to show for it?”   

Creating this space allowed for there to be room for God to meet me in my most hurt places — the places I had been trying so hard to protect. Grieving brought things to the light that needed to be dealt with and put them in the hands of the one who could do the work.   

Trust   

As I moved through grieving my financial situation, I realized how little I actually trusted God. I had finally come to a place where I trusted Him enough to bring one of the deepest pains in my life, but as I walked closer, I saw how little baggage I was taking with me.  

Saying the words “Jesus, I trust in You” was hard, so I started by saying “God, You have to provide.” I could say this with a straight face and only moderate disbelief. As I said it more, and experienced the provision, I was reminded of each situation that had been provided for.    

I have had Excel spreadsheets monitoring my budgets, income statements, and cash flows for about 25 years, and the one common thread I constantly think about throughout is “God provides.” Each month, there was enough. Sometimes, there were unexpected blessings that came out of nowhere, but most of the time, it was just patience that prevailed. He did provide for my well-being and provided for the circumstances that led me to be fruitful.   

Be Fruitful  

When I moved through grief and into trust, something shifted.  I moved from focusing mainly on myself and what I didn’t have to looking at others and finding gratitude for what I did have. First, I needed to give up everything and put it in God’s hands to start seeing what I really had — to see what it meant to “go forth and bear fruit.”   

When I’m in a place of deep worry, I can only think about myself. I spent days looking at a spreadsheet, wondering how I could move numbers around and try to make them work. But they always did. What if I had used those hours — those days — and focused on loving others?  

It was starting to seem like finances in the Kingdom of God were opposite from the world’s view on finances. The world seems to be obsessed with cause and effect and rewards systems. In God’s economy, you are provided for first.   

I know fruitfulness was found in the relationships that I built along the way. I know fruitfulness more often has to do with people than products or projects. I know there is a reason why God spends so much time with people because that’s what we are called to do instead of the worry:  “Love one another.”  

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Copyright 2025 Johanna Stamps
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