Helping Our Kids Deal with Imperfect Shepherds

Meg Herriot shares a conversation with her son after he expressed disillusionment when disappointed by someone in authority.

Part of growing up (unfortunately) means seeing the less than perfect in humanity. Whether it’s your parents who aren’t perfect, or your teachers or other people in leadership, it always hurts to be disappointed.

A conversation happened the other day and I was trying to explain to my son, “The Church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.” We are all sinners — with the notable exception of Mary, my son is always happy to point out.

It’s particularly painful to see those who are supposed to be shepherds (I’m not piling on the clergy — any people in leadership, including parents, are shepherds) not setting an example for the sheep, or worse, leading them astray.

Helping Children Learn to Give Grace

We’ve told our son that brains are not neurologically fully developed until they are 25. We expect that part of growing up is making mistakes (with the caveat they aren’t intentional, and to try to learn from the errors and not repeat them). It’s a little harder to give grace to those who should know better. It’s also hard to feel like you are a Catholic trying to live your faith and grow in relationship with Jesus and a lot of others around who call themselves Catholic don’t seem to follow the tenets of the faith. This is not about judging them or their choices, but this is about saying who you are and acting like it. To a black-and-white brain, this dichotomy is difficult to comprehend.

I could definitely empathize with my son about how sometime the road less traveled is a lonely road. Sometimes there is a lot of “white martyrdom,” whether it be bullying, insults, or isolation because you are just trying to do the right thing.

The Analogy of the Sheep

I told him how we really are like sheep. I told him how it is not Jesus’ intent that the shepherds leave us alone or lead us astray. It is disappointing to Him, just like it is to us. I went on to tell him how sheep are not perfect either. Sheep are really stinky, pretty dumb, and very stubborn (they will follow others off a cliff if they are following a leader blindly). They are often unbathed.

As I talked about sheep, I thought, “Wow, that analogy really fits with middle-school and high-school boys.” My son, being one, agreed. However, he said, “Mom, how can you talk about sheep like that? You like sheep!" (He knows they are among my favorite animals.)

I do like sheep, and Jesus loves His sheep. Despite all the messiness of sheep and shepherds, Jesus loves us all — even with our stinkiness and imperfection. Our hope and prayer is that the sheep will help the shepherds, by our example (imperfect though it is), and our stubbornness used as perseverance to reach Home, as imperfect as we all are.

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2026 Meg Herriot
Images: copyright 2007 Meg Herriot, all rights reserved.