Helping Teens Use Technology in Healthy Ways

Kristina Talbot explores the ever-changing challenges of parenting teens who want to use technology.

Not that long ago, I could hear my daughter singing along to the latest animated film soundtrack. Now the music I overhear is anything from Broadway to the latest pop music—and we are teaching her how to drive. When I slow down, I can recognize that we are in a new place. Our daughter has grown overnight into someone I can share shoes with, and I am still in denial about the readers I need to start carrying with me.

As challenging as developmental transitions can be, I am learning that parenting does not have to be done alone, especially when it comes to device management and social media monitoring.

I have had some honest and difficult conversations with my daughter about my own device usage and had to apologize for the way it took over my life. Several years ago, I was addicted to my cell phone. It took precedence over countless more important things. I shudder at how many Rosaries I missed lying next to my children at bedtime as I scrolled social media instead of praying with and for them.

After recalibrating my own device usage, it helped me to evaluate how I want to teach my kids to utilize technology as a gift. What has been of tremendous value is our cooperative exploration of technology rather than my opting to fully dictate and hide from its place in our home.

null

The exploration of technology use, limits, and monitoring is not a singular conversation. I wish I could be done with the social media-restrictions conversation. Yet, in listening to my daughter’s requests for allowances, I have also grown to learn that some things requested are reasonable. Initially, her cell phone was so locked down she could not access a song sent by her musical theater teacher to practice for an audition. Situations like that taught me that maintaining a technological Fort Knox was not realistic for raising teens in the information age. They also opened the door for conversations about why there are limits and created teaching moments about what is online.

After the revelation that adapting the bunker mentality was not sustainable for our household, I concluded that the best defense is to raise awareness, educate, and empower our teens through active and engaged exploration and conversations. How often do we sit with them to view what interests them? Do we know who they are following on Instagram and why? Have they been informed about algorithms and made aware of how much a device can learn about them?

The Advocate, the holy Spirit that the Father will send in my name—he will teach you everything and remind you of all that [I] told you. (John 14:26)

null

Click to tweet:
Technology can bring out the best in our youth if we invest in showing them how to wield its power for good. #CatholicMom

Five simple ways parents can teach healthy device utilization:

Take a personal inventory of your own device usage and explore whether you are modeling healthy device usage by examining your total screen time usage and adjusting as necessary.
Set screentime limits and device curfews.
Make sure all devices are placed in a supervised or monitored place of the house each night and during times of designated downtime.
Keep device use in public spaces as much as possible, with limits and parameters on private usage.
If social media is introduced, ensure that a parent has full access to the account, including DMs.

We are not alone in this journey of raising teenagers in a time where screens are accessible everywhere. We have been equipped with the Holy Spirit to guide us on the path towards exploration of this new frontier to support the creation and development of what is good, true and beautiful.

Technology can bring out the best in our youth if we invest in showing them how to wield its power for good. When we dwell in that place of uncovering the good while taking protective measures to limit, monitor and explore technology with our teens, we need not fear.

null