How My Out-Of-The-Box Child Found His Place in the World

Charisse Tierney shares how an unexpected path helped transform her son from defeated to determined as he pursues a career as a pilot. 

“I didn’t hear anything … just a bunch of beeps.”  

My young son was attempting a routine hearing test at his annual physical. The nurse told him to raise his hand when he heard something. She put the headphones over his ears and we all watched. Not once did he raise his hand.  

Apparently a series of beeps didn’t seem significant enough to him to be the “something” that warranted a hand raise. 

Being an Unconventional Learner brings Feelings of Defeat  

We had many similar experiences with this out-of-the-box child of ours. And we soon realized that if a standard hearing test was a challenge for him, then any standard school assignment or test was nearly impossible. He was the child who made me start to seriously consider homeschooling years before I gathered up the courage to try it. He was the child whose school conferences always brought up more questions than answers. He was the child who came home from his first months of high school looking defeated every day.  

Until we made the decision to homeschool.  

He seemed to grow into himself and realize who he was in an instant. He was the one who did most of the talking when we met with his high school principal to inform her of our decision. He was the one who simply but confidently said, “I just think I’ll learn better at home.”  

He was finally allowed to embrace his out-of-the-box self.  

And so we dove into our studies at home. “This is what it’s all about,” I thought. “I can work with him at his own pace, boost his confidence, and conquer all of those subjects he was struggling with in school.”  

But I was just putting him into a box too.  

Math was still hard, I couldn’t get him to sit and focus on reading a book for very long, and he avoided writing anything if at all possible. I was relieved we didn’t have grade cards and school administrators to worry about anymore, but I was worried and confused as to why homeschool didn’t seem to be “working” like I had hoped it would for my son.  

An Unexpected Educational Opportunity Turns Defeat into a Sense of Self  

Then I saw an opportunity for flying lessons through a social media post in one of my local homeschool groups. A homeschooling dad who was a trained pilot and flight instructor was offering lessons to students 16 years and older. I mentioned it to my husband, and he instantly thought it would be a great fit for our son.  

From his first ride in a tiny flight school plane, my son was hooked. His instructor guided him through the book work in a way that suited his learning style, and encouraged his “natural” ability to navigate an airplane.  

My son started to understand himself better as he recognized his strengths and weaknesses through the lens of flight instruction. He had found the place where God could show him who he was created to be. It turned out that homeschooling was “working” the best just when I thought it wasn’t. We put aside most of the curriculum I had planned to use with him, and flight school became his primary source of education. 

I was so proud, yet humbled, when my husband and I handed our son his homeschool high-school diploma. We hadn’t finished every algebra problem, or read a complete Shakespeare play, or written a full research paper, or analyzed much poetry, but shortly after graduation, my son obtained his private pilot’s license. That pilot’s license is what helped him discover who he is. He’s been waking up early to go fly, working out regularly to stay in prime pilot condition, and walking into our home no longer defeated, but full of life and purpose.  

Every once in a while, as I see a plane fly overhead, I realize it could be my son as he accumulates hours and works towards a career as a pilot.  

And I am thankful that he has found something he finds significant enough to warrant the elevation of his entire personhood.   

I am thankful that he has broken completely free from the box — and shown me that the box never actually mattered at all. 

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Copyright 2025 Charisse Tierney
Images: copyright 2025 Charisse Tierney, all rights reserved.