If I Have Not Love

Rosemary Bogdan contemplates how we can become more like Jesus, absorbing His love for us and all those around us. 

A very wise priest recently reminded me that feelings, affections, and emotions are all ephemeral. They do not last. Only love lasts.  

How I wish I had dwelt on this truth more during my mothering years. If my house is perfectly clean and tidy but I have not love, what do I have? (See 1 Corinthians 13.) I have a clean house that in a relatively short period of time will itself be dust. 

If my child completes all their homework and never misses an assignment but I have not love, what am I? (Again, see 1 Corinthians 13.) A proud mother of a child with a good report card that has no eternal significance. 

Not that teaching our children diligence in their work is unimportant. It is important. But I wish that I had given greater weight to the lesson that God loves us even when we don’t measure up, that an individual’s dignity and value is not at all dependent on how they do in school or how successful they are in the eyes of the world. Every child’s dignity and worth transcends their behavior. It matters not how academically diligent they are, or how many things they do not forget.  

An individual’s value is inherent, conveyed by God, and sustained by God. He loves us even in our sins as evidenced by His acceptance of the Crucifixion as the instrument of our redemption. He loves us. Her loves our children. Always. Regardless. 

I am reminded of a commencement address given by a very holy priest to a class of eighth graders. Among much wise advice, he told them to choose their friends carefully because they would become like them. He said that you think that you will not, but you will. This priest was also involved in prison ministry. 

So, if I want to become more loving, to be the love of God to others, what must I do? Well, of course there are many things that can help us in this quest. Prayer, sacraments, and Scripture reading will all contribute. But in this month of April the Church asks that we focus on the Eucharist, the Source and Summit of the Christian life. (CCC 1324) 

If we want to become more like Jesus, the best friend we will ever have, let’s spend time with Him in His Eucharistic Presence—at Holy Mass and at Adoration. We do become like our friends. And who are our friends? Those with whom we spend the most time.  

The Eucharist is the Presence of love itself, the Word Incarnate, the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of God. If we want to be more peaceful, let’s spend time with the Prince of Peace. If we want to be more loving, let’s spend time with God Who is Love Itself.  

My parish has a 24-hour Adoration chapel. Many parishes do. In my diocese you can look up online all the parishes that offer Adoration. If you look at your diocesan website, I imagine you will find that information too. 

Adoration is where I find the peace, the quiet, the reassurance, and the closeness of the Lord. There are no distractions except those coming from within me. I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 10:5:

We destroy arguments and every pretension raising itself against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive in obedience to Christ.

It is in Adoration that things become clear to me, that I am directed back to Love. It is in sitting before the Lord that I can see what matters and what doesn’t. It is there in His Presence that I make progress in keeping “every thought captive in obedience to Christ.” (2 Cor 10:5) 

It is in his Eucharistic Presence that we become like our Friend. It is there that we can experience His love and compassion and learn to love as He does. No one loves us more. No one understands as He does. He knows the deepest sorrows and the greatest needs of our hearts. He knows how we fail, how we fall over and over again. He understands. He knows. He knows it all. And he still loves us more than we can possibly comprehend. 

We must spend time with Him at Mass and at Adoration, absorbing his love for us, that we might return that love to Him and to His Presence in everyone around us. Blessed be God. 

How can we conform our will, our hearts, and our lives to the God Who loves us beyond measure? 

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Copyright 2024 Rosemary Bogdan
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