In the Quiet

Jesus knew He needed solitude to pray and process life events—and we mothers do, as well. Here is one mom's testimony.

I've had a few dark moments in my life. Moments when I felt like I was so overwhelmed by my emotions and had nowhere to go with them and no one who was willing to sit with me in those emotions. I wanted to numb the pain. I wanted to make it all go away. It wasn't physical pain, though, which makes it that much more difficult to manage. It was emotional pain.

It started out as grief but manifested itself into something more, and I found I couldn't name it. I just knew I wanted it to stop. I just wanted to sleep. On both occasions, I just wanted to sleep so I didn't have to sit there in the pain. The quiet on the outside didn't match all of the noise on the inside. In those moments in the past, I didn't realize just how important it was to allow myself to process all of those emotions, remembering how Jesus often went to be by Himself. I also didn't realize how much I needed to reach out to God, our Father and that those were moments, in the past, when maybe, God was hoping I would reach out to Him for comfort.

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Jesus knew He needed solitude. He admittedly dismissed himself because He knew He needed to be by himself. I often wonder if it was because He, too, was overwhelmed and just needed some time and space to be allowed to process everything that had happened and was about to happen. After all, Jesus was the Son of God.

I wonder if, in those times, He wasn't just finding time in the quiet to be by Himself but if it was so He could feel closer to God because He could hear Him better during those quiet moments. Or maybe He felt a prompt from God and was abiding to let Himself be comforted by the Father in solitude and in the quiet, so God could reassure Him of the glory that would come out of all of the mourning that He knew would take place.

Rising very early before dawn, he left and went off to a deserted place, where he prayed. (Mark 1:35)

I realize now that sometimes, I need time in the quiet, without any of the noise of the everyday life. That's honestly very difficult. My life is filled with noise and, sometimes, not just the noise of the world. Sometimes in the midst of all of the noise is God, softly whispering to me to let Him in and let Him help me, especially in those darkest of moments.

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It is God, not only letting me know that He is there to comfort me but also that I need to refocus on Him. In those moments when I am able to realize this, it is also hard to ask for help. When it comes to my emotions and asking for help, I find that difficult. To say what I need when I need it. But, most importantly, just like Jesus did, I need to pray.

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In the midst of all of the noise is God, softly whispering to me to let Him in and let Him help me, especially in those darkest of moments. #CatholicMom

Lately, I've found myself relishing those early mornings before my children have stumbled out of bed, before the sun rises, even before having a cup of coffee. It's on the quiet. I relish it because I am not only able to hear my own thoughts but I'm able to hear God. In the quiet of my own heart, He is there, gently reminding me that sometimes, all we need to do is just quiet our hearts and minds so we can hear Him and allow Him to be the Father to us He yearns to be. And to pray.

I know I need to seek that relationship with Him and put more time and effort into that relationship, as we do with any relationship. But with God, our Father, we can do that through prayer. We need to make time for the relationship and nurture it so it can continue to grow. In growing my relationships with those who mean the most to me, starting with God, I can find peace in the quiet.

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