Investing in Myself is Investing in God

Maria Riley shares how her relationship with money has changed over the last few months.

I struggle with money. I acknowledge that it is necessary for living in the United States, but it’s not always easy finding a balance between how much we actually need and what we think is enough.

Since before kids, my role in our marriage includes managing our finances, a role I take very seriously. Not only do I pay the bills on time, but I’m responsible for savings, investments, and planning for large purchases.

While I have not worked for pay since becoming a mother, my financial contribution to our family is undeniable. I shop at three grocery stores for the best sales (Sam’s Club for bulk, Aldi for produce, and Kroger for everything else), I clip coupons, I cook at home to save on meals out, not to mention the money saved by not having four kids in afterschool care and summer day camps.

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It took me a long time to recognize that while I did not technically earn a paycheck, my efforts for the family did in fact result in a better financial position for us. My husband continued to bring home a paycheck that I managed well, and we were set.

Then the unthinkable happened. My husband came home one Tuesday without a job anymore.

I trust in God’s plan for us, but I recognize that I need to be responsible with our limited reserve funds while we discover what the next chapter in our lives will be. Around this same time, a little more than four months ago, promotions for the Catholic Writers Guild Live Conference started appearing everywhere I looked.

I cried because I strongly feel the call to be a Catholic writer, but how could I fly to Chicago and spend three nights in a hotel given our current financial situation? Maybe next year I could go, I told myself.

The voice and drive inside me didn’t quiet, though. I rationally told myself now was not the time to spend that kind of money. Even before my husband lost his job, I rarely justified spending that precious resource on myself. Kids need new clothes? Of course. I need new clothes? Goodwill. And yet the pull in my heart wouldn’t relent.

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While I have not worked for pay since becoming a mother, my financial contribution to our family is undeniable. #catholicmom

With my husband’s love and support, I booked a flight and the hotel. I invested in myself and this call I have to spread God’s message through children’s books. Even as I boarded the plane, I had doubts. By the time I boarded another plane to head home, my doubts were replaced by something new: confidence in this call.

There were too many amazing people and experiences to detail them all, but the one major thing that I came away with is that this is what I am meant to do. Like the apostles, I felt the Holy Spirit rest a tongue of fire on my head, giving me strength and courage to share His message in the way only I can (cf. Acts 2:3-4).

It occurred to me that my choice to spend that money wasn’t selfish: it was the opposite. My writing is a talent from God, and He doesn’t want me to bury it (Matthew 25:24-28). He wants me to shine. By investing in myself, I am actually investing in Him. And that’s worth the money, 100% of the time.

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